Being there…

liberteeloveLeave a comment

So, as you all can see, I’ve been a bit backed up when it comes to my blogs. There hasn’t seem to be enough time to sit down and concentrate on it. My days have felt as though they’ve all mushed in together. However, the past few days, in my sick exhaustion, I’ve realized how much “being there” helps. So alot of folks are not able to be in Haiti right now, but here are tons of charities that you can give to in order to help those in need in Haiti. The easiest ones to give to are those that you can donate through text like Yele and Red Cross. But there are also others. Here are a few and the directions on how to give.  There are 3million people living just in Port-au-Prince people! So let’s raise a few million more $$$.


  • So far Wyclef Jean’s Yele Organization Raised $1 Million In Aid For Haiti, but you can still donate:

Text “YELE” to 501501 to donate $5 to Yele.

  • The American Red Cross says so far, U.S. cell phone users have contributed more than $5 million to the Red Cross.  To donate to the Red Cross:

Text “HAITI” to  90999 to donate $10 to the Red Cross.

  • The Salvation Army’s mission is to provide food, shelter, clothing and spiritual comfort during disasters. To donate money:

Go to salvationarmyusa.org or call 1-800-SAL-ARMY.

Make sure you designate the donation for “Haiti Earthquake.”

Money will go to the Salvation Army in Haiti, which will determine the country’s immediate needs, including water, food, medicine and transportation.

There are other organizations that you can donate to in order to help the situation in Haiti.

  • Here’s a link I found on CNN LIVING with an extensive list on fund raising organizations.


Body over mind

liberteeloveLeave a comment

As I sit hunched over my laptop, I feel the skin of my stomach being indented by the elastic of my too-short shorts. My breasts form little creases with the top of my torso and all I can think is how much I don’t want to focus on my body. My body doesn’t feel as it used to when I worked out. And I am not only talking about the lost firmness, but I had more energy and more strength. I could walk for long distances without feeling as though someone was pulling on my hamstring. I didn’t need to bend over and contort my back while standing on a packed train for too long. I tug at my overgrown sleeping shirt so that it stretches over my knees as I sit Indian style on my bed. Typing away, my lower back begins to get weary and with one hand on the other wrist, I raise my hands over my head and stretch up and then to the left and right. I think to myself, that maybe if I laid on my stomach this pressure on my lower back would cease, but I am wrong. As soon as I turn onto my stomach, I feel the weight of my body take a toll on my elbows, my spine feeling like that of a compressed cobra. After about 5 minutes of my backbone sandwich, I roll the upper half of my body so that I can sit on my feet. I reach over to the economy size lotion bottle from the nightstand. I rub the cold cream on my calves to soften the little prickles of hair on my legs that get caught in the fleece fabric of the covers. I close my laptop and lay on my back, legs straight out, hands on my sides. My body imprints the ashy blue sheets. I close my eyes and the bright sun shines through the windows onto my eyelids. There is too much to write about.

TEACH FOR AMERICA

liberteeloveLeave a comment

I didn’t write about my declared posted on “Cutie Pie Danielito” because I spent my time tonight writing my letter of intent for TEACH FOR AMERICA which is supposed to answer these three questions:

* Why do you seek to join Teach For America?
* What would you hope to accomplish as a corps member?
* How would you determine your success as a corps member?

Before I share with you all my reasons for wanting to do this program, I’d like to give you a little information about this amazing program. In short, it is a 2-year program that allows recent college graduates from all backgrounds and career interests to commit to teach for two years in urban and rural public schools. Training and ongoing support is provided for those accepted. Those who know me know that I am a sucker for kids, and this will allow me determine if being a teacher is something that I would want to continue to pursue, even after my 2-year commitment. For more information on TEACH FOR AMERICA, visit their website at www.teachforamerica.org. Let me know if I have a shot with this letter:

Dear Committee Members,

My interest in joining Teach for America is a personal, as well as professional choice. I was born an raised in Brooklyn and was taught in the public education system and I recently graduated from CUNY – Brooklyn College, so I am well acquainted with what it is to be a student in the New York school system. In teaching children here, I would not only gain more organizational, communicative as well as other leadership qualities, but the experience will be a cathartic in my efforts to be a positive role model for my students, who are just like I was. So TFA would be the beginning of a journey toward personal as well as professional fulfillment.

I love children and admire how they learn and grow. With TFA, I will be a part of that process. My niece, 9, is one of the most amazing people to me, in her creativity and her fragility. I believe that all children are like that on most levels. To some degree, I am like that. Children want to be heard. Children want to be understood. Children want to learn. Children want to be encouraged. I do feel a bit naïve with these thoughts, but it is this idealism, as well as my understanding of children, that makes me believe in my ability to be a positive role model, as well as a great teacher.

The teachers I remember most are those from my elementary and Junior High School days. The ones I weren’t too fond of, as well as the ones who were supportive yet stern. The latter were the ones I admire to this day. Being a teacher is at times a stressful occupation. It’s all about communication, understanding and patience. Some people are not equipped with those skills. I am proud to say that I am ever growing in these skills. With these skills I hope to help my students learn from me as much as I learn from them. I hope to find and teach better ways to communicate and better ways to learn. As a corps member, I hope to be a part of the lives of children from neighborhoods I am familiar with. I hope to be one of the teachers that they remember in their adult years, who help mould them and support them in their life’s endeavors. I hope to be one who will listen and understand their educational needs and use that information to improve the school system.

Success as a corps member would be to help improve the capacity of a student’s mind as well as their “spirit.” A lot of people I know, who grew up neighborhoods like the one I will be teaching in, lacked the ability to believe in things that they can achieve. Those people lacked the encouragement to believe that they can be successful adults and unfortunately, some of that discouragement came from teachers. In all my idealism, I do not believe that being a corps member will easy. So my success as a corps member will not only be measured in student test scores. My success would be measured by continual, steadfast ambition in my primary goal of being a great teacher and a positive influence on students.

"Soul mates"

liberteelove1 Comment

What is a “soul mate?” At first, I used to think that a soul mate was the one that is meant for another person. I thought that a soul mate was the “one and only,” or “love of my life” person. I mean, that’s what the movies told me a soul mate was. But after actually thinking, I have realized that a soul mate isn’t necessarily a lover. A soul mate is someone who you are connected to on another level. The actual definition?

Soul mate: 1. One of two persons compatible with each other in disposition, point of view, or sensitivity. 2. a person for whom one has a deep affinity, esp a lover, wife, husband, etc.

So you see it’s not just about love or lust, though someone can be connected to another through all or just one of the many different feelings humans have (such as those who are sexually in tuned with one another, or the love-at-first-sight-until-death-do-us-part-Hollywood-love). I think that it is possible to even have more than one soul mate. The definition states that one just has a “deep affinity” towards a person.

Affinity: 1. A natural attraction, liking, or feeling of kinship.

Now, I don’t say “just” as if this connection is easy, but it’s a celestial connection that we as materialistic, earthly beings don’t usually aspire to study. A soul mate is someone with whom one has a “feeling of kinship” with.

Kinship: 1. Relationship by nature or character; affinity. 2. family relationship or other close tie or relationship.

In short, a soul mate is a person with whom another is connected to. Could it be sexual? Yes. It’s when you find that one person who you can’t get enough of, no matter how much of him/her you get. Could it be romantic? Yes. I believe in love at first sight and ever lasting love. Could it be sisterly, brotherly, motherly, fatherly? Yes. I know a lot of folks who has a “brother from another mother” or someone who isn’t blood related, but feels just like she gave birth to you. Soul mates are just kindred.

Kindred: 1. natural relationship

To understand what that really means would be to understand how mother earth regenerates herself and evolves year by year from season to season. Though we think we understand, all we can really do is observe, and be a part of the design.

Introducing "The Performing Walnut"

liberteelove2 Comments

As those who know me know, I am was a closet performer. Though I would burst out singing at random times and sing in the shower or my room, as well as acting out skits or friendly impersonations (hahaha), I still only did these things within my comfort zone. I wouldn’t sing too loud in public or act out in front of strangers (much), but now these random takes are not the only time one might hear or see me perform. I am currently taking acting as well as singing lessons to increase my ability to perform and at the very least make me better and give me the balls to show everyone what I’ve got!

I’ve been taking classes for about seven months now, and about 3 months of voice lessons and I have been loving it. Though when I’m instructed to sing a note, or act out a monologue in a certain way, I feel my brain do contortions in order to deliver the song, note or line the way instructed. But in all the time that I’ve been learning from my teachers, I have never felt the way I’ve felt this week.

This Sunday, I took my usual Sunday acting class with Jay Michaels and I delivered the monologue “Dance 10 Looks 3” from “THE CHORUS LINE.” In the monologue, Val is telling her story of why she felt she had to get plastic surgery in order to be a dancer on Broadway. After about five minutes of trying to deliver it as instructed, I got so frustrated tears started leaking from my eyes. I know five minutes sounds like a short time, but five minutes of saying the same 3 lines over and over again seems like forever when I’m trying to get a “scene” right. But Jay knew what he was doing in having me repeat, and repeat, and repeat those first few lines. He wanted to get the emotion of a jaded woman who wanted to basically spit in the face of those who she auditioned for, because it was people like them who made her have to change her image. In essence, I had to remove my preconceived notions of what the monologue was about. I simply took it as a funny story and tried to deliver it that way. What I learned from Sunday’s class, on a more real/personal level, is that as actor, one has to peel away the layers of their role in order to deliver that monologue as a real person, not as an image. The image is what the audience sees. An actor has to be the person. Sunday’s class was the hardest class I’ve ever experienced with Jay. The walnut was cracked Jay! Oyyyy, but I still love ya!

Today was my voice lesson with Mary Elizabeth MiCari, and again, it was a tough lesson. To me, singing is a lot like acting in my need to connect and invoke emotion from and through the song/monologue/scene. However, I think singing is more physical for me in that if I’m feeling tense then my voice is like a log, and boy oh boy did I feel tense today. Even certain warm ups felt like I was reaching for the highest mountain top with a bag of bricks on my back. But I got through it and again, I felt as though I was cleansed of my negative energies through the hour of concentration on breath. It’s almost like yoga for my soul.

In taking these lessons I hope that I have become better at what I used to just do for fun. I hope to grow in both skill and ambition. Since I started taking lessons, I’ve done one play, one reading and was featured in GENESIS REPERTORY’S season debut show “GEN 10.” There are more shows/plays to come, including a show featuring songs from THE AMERICAN SONGBOOK and a debut of my acting class at an Off-Off-Broadway location. I was made for performing. I just have to break out of my shell and give it all I got!!

Gravity

liberteelove1 Comment

I was introduced a few months ago to Sara Bareilles song “Gravity” by a good friend of mine, and fell in love. Granted, this song was featured on Bareilles’ album “Little Voice” in 2007, a whole three years ago, but the lyrics to this song is timeless. What made me really fall in love with this song were the lines:

“You loved me ’cause I’m fragile, but I thought that I was strong. But you touch me for a little while, and all my fragile strength is gone.”

In my interpretation, this is a smartly written song. And that is the real reason for this blog today; the concept of this song “Gravity.” The essential definition to the word “gravity,” (following the concept of the song and according to thefreedictionary.com) is “the natural force of attraction exerted by a celestial body…upon objects at or near its surface, tending to draw them toward the center of the body.” I am an over-analyzer, so not only do I see Bareilles’ idea of being held down by this lover, but also being draw to her lover, a “celestial body” himself.

That’s it y’all. I’m a hopeless romantic and I think this song is tortuously passionate, and share-worthy. LoL. I’ve posted the video (very visually stimulating as well as creative) from youtube.com as well as the lyrics (written by Sara Barielles) below. Hope you fall in love with it as I did. Listen and Enjoyyyyy.

GRAVITY

Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.
No matter what I say or do.
I still feel you here, ’til the moment I’m gone.

You hold me without touch
You keep me without chains
I never wanted anything so much
Than to drown in your love, and not feel your reign

Set me free, leave me be
I don’t want to another moment into your gravity
Here I am, and I stand so tall
Just the way I’m supposed to be
But you’re onto me, and all over me

Oh, you loved me ’cause I’m fragile
But I thought that I was strong
But you touch me for a little while
And all my fragile strength is gone

Set me free, leave me be
I don’t want to another moment into your gravity
Here I am, and I stand so tall
Just the way I’m supposed to be
But you’re onto me, and all over me

I live here on my knees as I try to make you see that you’re everything I think I need here on the ground
But you’re neither friend nor foe, though I can’t seem to let you go
The one thing that I still know is that you’re keeping me down
You’re keeping me down

You’re onto me, onto me and all over
Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.

January First, Two Thousand and Ten

liberteeloveLeave a comment

It is the first day of the new year, and the first thing I want to send out is Love, Happiness, Wealth and Health to all those I know and all those I love.

2009 was a year in which my personal and creative life sort of switched rounds. I have always been blessed with the gift of creativity, but prior to 2009 I have squandered those talents away with years of meek ambition to go the traditional/safe route. Though I chose Creative Writing as my major in college, I can’t say that I have been very aggressive in my approach to anything really creative. But I made the decision to do more last year with the creative talents that I was blessed with. I was also very fortunate to have those in my life who supported me and help me nurture these talents. And in my personal life, I was never really a Don Juana (lol), but 2009 was the first year in which I can say I made decisions in relationships that I am ashamed of (though I’ve learned a lot from them). But 2010 proves to be a great year. Not only am I in this new realm of my life where the creative gods are being gracious to me, but 2009 has allowed me to grow and prioritize through those personal experiences.

This the turn of a new year as well as the turn of a decade, and I reflect on things, good and bad.

1. I will never have to say “what if” when it comes to those bad decisions.
2. I have learned about my capabilities as well as weaknesses within a relationship.
3. I have met new people who are very supportive as well as nurturing to my creative talents.
4. I have acquired knowledge of myself in terms of my needs and wants, both creatively and personally.
5. I am grateful for my continuously supportive family.
6. I recognize even more, the friends who are nearest and dearest to me.
7. And though this is selfish, what’s more important to me is that in the bit of creative growth that I have attained in 2009, I have set goals on ambitions for 2010 that I used to tuck away for the sake of safety.

2010 proves to be “the best year yet” (as I have been wished through mass New Year texts). It will be a year of chances and a year of continual growth and steadfast ambition. I’ll keep you up to date on the progress!

I am no better than the assaulter

liberteeloveLeave a comment

So, this morning at 4am, I was awoken by the screams of a woman. In my hazy awareness I walked to my bedroom window. I looked outside through my sleepy eyes and saw nothing.

“Get off of me, get off of me (screams)”

What could I do? I could have called 911 and report screams from a woman somewhere near my building. However, I did nothing. I went back to bed, only to be held awake by more yelling of the woman.

“So you’re trying to kill me, so you’re trying to kill me?”

I go to the window again. I see a figure just inside the entrance of the apartment building across the street from my building. I hear nothing. I see a woman pulling two glass bottles out of the garbage can of another building. She walks into the apartment building across the street from my bedroom window.

I don’t know what happened to the screaming woman. I don’t know what happened to the man or woman who was assaulting this woman. I don’t know if the woman who pulled the bottles out of the can was the screaming woman (but most likely it was). I don’t know what happen to the figure that walked from the apartment entrance into the apartment building. All I know is that in my inaction, I am no better than the assaulter.

Don’t be like me. Do something. Call 911 at the very least if you know of an assault or domestic abuse.

If you are in an abusive relationship there are a few hotlines that you can visit for help.

WOMEN IN NEED

http://www.women-in-need.org/

Women In Need, Inc., (WIN) provides housing, help and hope to New York City women and their families who are homeless and disadvantaged. Through comprehensive programs such as shelter, supportive permanent housing, job training, domestic violence services, alcohol and substance abuse treatment and childcare, WIN offers the tools and guidance which allow our families to return to their communities and live independently.

DOMESTIC ABUSE HELPLINE

http://dahmw.org/

The Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men and Women has been helping those in need for a number of years. It is run and operated by unpaid volunteers who have devoted enormous amounts of time to ensuring that both male and female victims of domestic abuse get the help and respect they need to free themselves from violent relationships. Please read what follows and do what you can to help them to keep helping others.

THE NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE

http://www.ndvh.org/

The Hotline is a nonprofit organization that provides crisis intervention, information and referral to victims of domestic violence, perpetrators, friends and families. The Hotline answers a variety of calls and is a resource for domestic violence advocates government officials, law enforcement agencies and the general public. The Hotline is toll-free, confidential and anonymous. It operates 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, in more than 170 different languages through interpreter services, with a TTY line available for the Deaf, Deaf-Blind and Hard of Hearing. The staff at the Hotline and the Texas Council on Family Violence is also available to provide assistance and guidance in a variety of areas including media, public relations, fundraising, public policy, legal advocacy and public education and training.

Horizon

liberteeloveLeave a comment

You ever tried running to the horizon?
Your legs burning, your stomach churning with each step.
Tears streaming down your face, not of your sadness but from pure exhaustion.
And your heart, pounds.
The sun is just beyond your grasp and you reach towards it with your soul.
Only you find that you must continue stepping into the continuing dimming of the sun’s light.
You realize that you’re stuck in limbo of ever hailing want you.
And still you don’t want to stop, because it’s the warmth that you long for, fleeing from the dark emptiness behind you.

The Verdict is in…

liberteeloveLeave a comment

So I went to NC for the holidays with one of my good friends and and her family. Going, it was a 10 hour drive. Coming back, it was a 12 hour drive (I drove 176 miles!! haha) They were very hospitable and I had a good time. Food, shopping, HGTV; what more could a girl ask for? But the highlight of the trip for me (besides the awesome food) was my friend’s 19 month old niece.

‘E’ was just what all babies are to me, absolutely adorable and just a ball of love. Although at times she cried, and she pooped a lot, and told me “no” a lot, and sometimes she rose that left hand to hit, she was a joy to be around. But this little girl got me thinking about my own want for kids.

When I was younger I wanted five kids. Of course those were in my premenstrual years when I didn’t know what having even one child meant. I didn’t understand the way the woman’s body worked to nurture this fetus. I didn’t understand the way a mother worked to nurture her child. And as I became to understand it, the number lessened, until I wasn’t sure that I wanted to have even one child. My vanity and my fear took hold of me for a while. But this weekend, as I admired this child, I came to realize that to not have at least one child of my own, would be depriving myself of a love that I can only imagine until experienced.

Now of course, one may think I’m am totally looking at the situation with rose colored glasses, and maybe I am, but this is one woman who believes in the purity and the gift of a child.