Working Toward My Goals

One of the things I remember my mom telling me is that I like shiny things.  So this can be analogized to mean that I love extraordinary things. 

I am turned on by fantasies (and I don’t mean sexual), flowery words, beautiful art, passionate music … the list goes on and on.  I want to place my bed in a garden of words, clothe myself with art, bathe in passionate music.  But that seems to be the story of my life. I want it, I want it, I want it … But the difference between me and some folks is that I will work for what I want!  I will work until I’m tired and I’ve got nothing left to give.  My knowledge comes from knowing myself and my willingness to know others. 

What makes me weak is that I reveal too much and one has to have a certain amount of cunning in this world.  I am the “tell me what you got, I’ll tell you what I got, and we can work from there” type of person… Guileless.

So, why haven’t I fallen thus far with such a weakness?  I have met so many good people and I treasure them, and I am not shy to get rid those who aren’t conducive to my growth. 

Why haven’t I failed so far?  I am resilient.

Why do I feel as though I’m destined to achieve more than I’ve ever dreamed of?  Those people, my resilience and my knowledge of self …

Keep and eye out for me … the Late Bloomer … again … giving you all she’s got.

Maya Angelou … Inspiration

April’s ESSENCE magazine featured an article on Maya Angelou.  A woman who has written 13 books of poetry and acquired 30 honorary degrees, danced with Alvin Ailey, recorded and released an album called Miss Calypso, designed and remodeled how own Harlem home could only be described as someone inspirational and amazing (I refuse to be cliche and use the “p” word).  She has achieved more than I could dream of, yet is everything that I strive for.  An “every-woman’s” woman who always strives to be fearless with life.  In the article she says that the “worst thing is to be too timid in life.  Life is about saying here I am, so let’s go!”

I just returned from my tap class, and in light of Angelou, I thought to mention just how amped I am to be taking it.  I’ve always wanted to take tap.  When I was about 9 I put on my patent leather PayLess shoes and sat my parents down so that they could see me “tap” on the front-entrance linoleum floor.  Tomorrow I take my voice lesson and rehearse a scene with my company mate Anna Frankl-Duval.

I guess it’s my time to be fearless so …. LET’S GO!! 😀

It’s time to read Angelou’s autobiography now … (I know, I’m way late, but better late than never)?

Rejected into dreams

Before I had decided to apply for Teach For America, I realized that for me, making money is not enough.  My progress in life and my knowledge of self tells me I need to move on from my current position.  But unfortunately, I didn’t get into the T.F.A. program.  I have to say, this was initially disappointing, however, dwelling on this rejection would not have served a purpose.  But this does put me into the predicament of looking for other options as far as employment.  And the search continues.  All I know is that I want it all …

DON'T EVEN THINK OF LOOKING MY WAY!!

I was on the train today and locked eyes with this young girl. No, I’m not about to go into a homosexual fantasy, I wanted to get into the topic of this simple act of looking at someone; this act that to a lot of people mean that you are insulting or inviting them in some way. What is up with that? I said “Good Morning” to release the tension, but she just shook her head. What that meant, I have no idea, but it made me think of where this unwritten offense was born and why.

I’ve thought about this before, as I’ve had a lady yell at me and ask “What are you looking at” because of a simple observation (I know you’re thinking I was staring her down and squinting my eyes or something crazy, but I just love to observe). My eyes roam around on my 45 minute ride to work and obviously there are others like me who do the same, which is why I catch the eye of another. But why does it give a woman the impression that I’m trying to challenge her? And on the flip side, why does it give men the impression that I’m inviting a man to ask for my name number and sign? Can’t we just be cordial to one another, as we are all living in the same city, and riding the same train?

Let me hear what you have to say about this topic.

Religious and Spiritual

This past week, I had a conversation with a friend of mine on the issues of being “religious” and “spiritual.”  The dictionary shows that these two words are interchangeable, but I always thought of the two as different.  So I thought to pose the question to you readers as to if you feel there is a difference.

  • Do you think that being religious is different to being spiritual?
  • Which do you find more favorable and why?
  • Are there any benefits or hindrances to being either religious or spiritual?
  • What are the benefits and hindrances of either?

I just wanted to stir the pot a bit.

Achieving Goals

One of the things we are told in school while we were still pretty young, was that “if you fail to plan, then you plan to fail.” Now, I’ve never really been much of a planner. I’ve always been the spontaneous type, getting what I need for the moment, but as I have realized that time is continuing to move along and my years are steadily climbing in numbers, I have become pretty particular with my schedule as well as goals that I want to achieve and when I want to achieve them and I have moved forward in my life, but is it because of planning, or just because I wanted something bad enough to just do it? I’m not going to go too deep into what those goals are because I wanted this blog to pose this question:

Does not planning allow us to procrastinate on achieving our dreams and maybe not even get what we want, or is wanting something enough? And is it possible to achieve things without planning; and if planning is necessary, how meticulous should one be in their planning?

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Here are some important and inspirational facts about Dr. King.  Please read to commemorate a man with a vision.  Please read to truly know, and to never forget the sacrifice he and his family made to make this country a better place for all people.  I got all of my bullet points from nobleprize.org.


  • He was born on January 15, 1929 as Michael Luther King, Jr., but later had his name changed to Martin.
  • Martin Luther attended segregated public schools in Georgia, graduating from high school at the age of fifteen; he received the B. A. degree in 1948 from Morehouse College, a distinguished Negro institution of Atlanta from which both his father and grandfather had graduated.
  • After three years of theological study at Crozer Theological Seminary in Pennsylvania where he was elected president of a predominantly white senior class, he was awarded the B.D. in 1951. With a fellowship won at Crozer, he enrolled in graduate studies at Boston University, completing his residence for the doctorate in 1953 and receiving the degree in 1955.
  • In Boston he met and married Coretta Scott, and had two sons and two daughters.
  • In 1954, Martin Luther King became pastor of the Dexter Avenue Baptist Church in Montgomery, Alabama.
  • In early December of 1955 he accepted the leadership of the first great Negro nonviolent demonstration of contemporary times in the United States, the bus boycott described by Gunnar Jahn in his presentation speech in honor of the laureate. The boycott lasted 382 days.
  • On December 21, 1956, after the Supreme Court of the United States had declared unconstitutional the laws requiring segregation on buses, Negroes and whites rode the buses as equals. During these days of boycott, King was arrested, his home was bombed, he was subjected to personal abuse, but at the same time he emerged as a Negro leader of the first rank.
  • In 1957 he was elected president of the Southern Christian Leadership Conference, an organization formed to provide new leadership for the now burgeoning civil rights movement. The ideals for this organization he took from Christianity; its operational techniques from Gandhi.
  • At the age of thirty-five, Martin Luther King, Jr., was the youngest man to have received the Nobel Peace Prize. When notified of his selection, he announced that he would turn over the prize money of $54,123 to the furtherance of the civil rights movement.
  • On the evening of April 4, 1968, before he was to lead a protest march in sympathy with striking garbage workers of that city, Martin Luther King, Jr. was assassinated while standing on the balcony of his motel room in Memphis, Tennessee.
  • Between 1957 and 1968, King traveled over six million miles and spoke over twenty-five hundred times, appearing wherever there was injustice, protest, and action; and meanwhile he wrote five books as well as numerous articles. In these years, he led a massive protest in Birmingham, Alabama, that caught the attention of the entire world, providing what he called a coalition of conscience. and inspiring his “Letter from a Birmingham Jail”, a manifesto of the Negro revolution; he planned the drives in Alabama for the registration of Negroes as voters; he directed the peaceful march on Washington, D.C., of 250,000 people to whom he delivered his address, “l Have a Dream”, he conferred with President John F. Kennedy and campaigned for President Lyndon B. Johnson; he was arrested upwards of twenty times and assaulted at least four times; he was awarded five honorary degrees; was named Man of the Year by Time magazine in 1963; and became not only the symbolic leader of American blacks but also a world figure.



The Famous “I Have a Dream” Speech:

I am happy to join with you today in what will go down in history as the greatest demonstration for freedom in the history of our nation.

Five score years ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand today, signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of Negro slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of their captivity.

But one hundred years later, the Negro still is not free. One hundred years later, the life of the Negro is still sadly crippled by the manacles of segregation and the chains of discrimination. One hundred years later, the Negro lives on a lonely island of poverty in the midst of a vast ocean of material prosperity. One hundred years later, the Negro is still languishing in the corners of American society and finds himself an exile in his own land. So we have come here today to dramatize a shameful condition.

In a sense we have come to our nation’s capital to cash a check. When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir. This note was a promise that all men, yes, black men as well as white men, would be guaranteed the unalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

It is obvious today that America has defaulted on this promissory note insofar as her citizens of color are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, America has given the Negro people a bad check, a check which has come back marked “insufficient funds.” But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation. So we have come to cash this check — a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice. We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quick sands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood. Now is the time to make justice a reality for all of God’s children.
Martin Luther King, Jr., delivering his ‘I Have a Dream’ speech from the steps of Lincoln Memorial. (photo: National Park Service)

It would be fatal for the nation to overlook the urgency of the moment. This sweltering summer of the Negro’s legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality. Nineteen sixty-three is not an end, but a beginning. Those who hope that the Negro needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if the nation returns to business as usual. There will be neither rest nor tranquility in America until the Negro is granted his citizenship rights. The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of our nation until the bright day of justice emerges.

But there is something that I must say to my people who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice. In the process of gaining our rightful place we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred.

We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force. The marvelous new militancy which has engulfed the Negro community must not lead us to a distrust of all white people, for many of our white brothers, as evidenced by their presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny. They have come to realize that their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom. We cannot walk alone.

As we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall always march ahead. We cannot turn back. There are those who are asking the devotees of civil rights, “When will you be satisfied?” We can never be satisfied as long as the Negro is the victim of the unspeakable horrors of police brutality. We can never be satisfied, as long as our bodies, heavy with the fatigue of travel, cannot gain lodging in the motels of the highways and the hotels of the cities. We cannot be satisfied as long as the Negro’s basic mobility is from a smaller ghetto to a larger one. We can never be satisfied as long as our children are stripped of their selfhood and robbed of their dignity by signs stating “For Whites Only”. We cannot be satisfied as long as a Negro in Mississippi cannot vote and a Negro in New York believes he has nothing for which to vote. No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until justice rolls down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream.

I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of great trials and tribulations. Some of you have come fresh from narrow jail cells. Some of you have come from areas where your quest for freedom left you battered by the storms of persecution and staggered by the winds of police brutality. You have been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive.

Go back to Mississippi, go back to Alabama, go back to South Carolina, go back to Georgia, go back to Louisiana, go back to the slums and ghettos of our northern cities, knowing that somehow this situation can and will be changed. Let us not wallow in the valley of despair.

I say to you today, my friends, so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: “We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal.”

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of interposition and nullification; one day right there in Alabama, little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together.

This is our hope. This is the faith that I go back to the South with. With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.

This will be the day when all of God’s children will be able to sing with a new meaning, “My country, ’tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my fathers died, land of the pilgrim’s pride, from every mountainside, let freedom ring.”

And if America is to be a great nation this must become true. So let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire. Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York. Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania!

Let freedom ring from the snowcapped Rockies of Colorado!

Let freedom ring from the curvaceous slopes of California!

But not only that; let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia!

Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee!

Let freedom ring from every hill and molehill of Mississippi. From every mountainside, let freedom ring.

And when this happens, when we allow freedom to ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God’s children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, “Free at last! free at last! thank God Almighty, we are free at last!”

All in Love is Fair

Something inspired by Stevie Wonder’s ability in finding a way to give a piece of his soul while taking a piece of yours in a way that only a musical genius could.

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Was it wrong to want you? Because Hades still burns through and through. From deepened thoughts to softened skin. At times I wonder if it’s really Love that I feel, this passion that consumes me in melancholic bouts. Or could it just be infatuation? All I know is I want you next to me. And in these moments, spurs of idiomatic phrases crystallize in my soul. “I love you.” “I want you.” I think I’ve felt almost every feeling that is because of you, down to the most sinful and I pray that the Universe doesn’t hurl them back at me with your absent presence. Because when I told you I loved you, you put me on hold. So I shoved you out of my life though I still ache to have you near. And I wonder to myself “is it a mistake?” Could I have, should I have endured your proclamations of love without feeling the breath of those words? No.

Though love is patient, I can wait no longer. Maybe in a later life I wold be able to touch your skin again. Maybe in a later life you’ll be the African and I’ll be the Egyptian. But the woman of this life shall endure without the sweetness of your words. The woman of this life will no longer touch her lips to your lips and will ache at the thought of being without those meager things. Those dreams of Love sting less when it doesn’t dangle from a tree like some strange fruit. A faded memory, out of sight to lessen the pain. Call me a coward for searching for the less painful dream of making love to “music of my mind.”

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Superwoman . . . Where Where You When I Needed You

Being that I’m feeling very amorous at the moment, I thought I’d post another song (music is my lifeline).  Lyrics are below if you’re interested.  This song was composed by the genius Stevie Wonder.

This song was introduced to me by the love of my life…

Mary wants to be a superwoman
But is that really in her head
But I just want to live each day to love her
for what she is

Mary wants to be another movie star
But is that really in her mind
And all the things she wants to be
She needs to leave behind

But, very well, I believe I know you-very well
Wish that you knew me too-very well
And I think I can deal with everything going through your head

Very well, and I think I can face-very well
Wish that you knew me too-very well
And I think I can cope with everything going through your head

Mary wants to be a superwoman
And try to boss the bull around
But does she really think that she will get by with a dream

My woman want to be a superwoman
And I just had to say good-bye
Because I can’t spend all my hours start to cry

But, very well, I believe I know you
Very well wish that you knew me too
Very well, And I think I can deal with everything going through your head

Very well, think that I know you too
Very well, wish you knew me like I know you
Very well, but I think I can deal with everything going through your head
Your filthy head

Very well, dum dum da, dum dum da
Very well, wish you knew me too
Very well, And I wish I could think of everything going through your head

Very well, dum dum da, dum da, dum da
dum dum da, dum da, very well
And I think I can deal with everything going through your head

When the summer came you were not around
Now the summer’s gone and love cannot be found
Where were you when I needed you-last winter, my love?

When the winter came you went further south
Parting from love’s nest, leaving me in doubt
Where are you when I need you, like right now?

Our love is at an end
But you say now you have changed
But tomorrow will reflect love’s past

When the winter came you were not around
Through the bitter winds love could not be found
Where were you when I needed you, last winter, my love?

Oh I need you baby, I need you baby

Our love is at an end
But you say now you have changed,
But tomorrow will reflect love’s past oh

Spring will fill the air and you will come around,
Well is it summer love that will let me down,
Where were you when I needed you, last winter, my love?

La la la la la, la la la la la
La la la la la, la la la la la
Where are you when I need you, like right now?
Right now, right now, right now

Where were you when I needed you last winter, my dear
I need you baby, I need you baby, I need you baby
Oh, Where were you when I needed you last winter, last winter

Yea, Need you Baby, need you, need you baby,
Oh, you want me too need you baby
Oh where were you when I needed you last, dear
Yea

Airborne

I’ve been sick.  I won’t tell you the disgusting story as to how I think I got sick, but I will tell you that until I am well, I will be holding a grudge against my little brother. . .lol

But this blog is not about my need to vent about my sickness, this cough that keeps me up late and wakes me up in the middle of the night.  This blog is to talk about the different medicines that I have taken that has yet to take effect, and the one thing that never fails me.

When I first felt my throat become scratchy, I went straight for the bottle of vitamin C, which had about seven pills in the bottle.  It’s all about the strength of your immune system when it comes to being sick.  It’s about your body’s ability to get better with the aid of medication.  But there weren’t enough pills to overdose on before this cough started pressing my throat on a full-time basis.  So when I realized that I was actually sick, and that I was no longer “on the brink” of being sick, I went straight for the Theraflu.  Two days at home, two packs of Halls and six packets of Theraflu later, and I am still here with annoying, nagging cough.  So today I went and got my never failing Airborne!

I’ve heard a lot of talk about Airborne and its ineffectiveness, but I believe in the ingredients of Airborne and its intentions.  This immune boosting concoction contains 17 vitamins, minerals and herbs, including Zinc, Ginger, Echinacea and 1000mg of Vitamin C!  How can not get better with that, I mean really?  My favorite flavor is the Pink Grapefruit.

But it also comes in Lemon Lime, Zesty Orange and Very Berry.  Now, Airborne is supposed to be taken in order to help prevent sickness/colds, but I think when you’re sick, you need all of these vitamins to get better asap.  So if you’re feeling under the weather, or you feel something coming on, or even if everyone in your office is hacking, coughing and blowing their noses, try some Airborne to protect you from the season’s worst!