Category: Writing

The Emotional Response

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Emotion by definition, is not logical.  Is this why we shame ourselves for having feelings?  Well, I’m actually speaking from personal experience, and I expect there are others like me, as we live in a society that shames emotion.  It’s thought of as a weakness.  I guess the thought process is, “how can you be logical if you experience emotions”?

It is only in my adulthood that I’ve learned to view emotions as a normal part of being human.  It’s humorous to me now, when I think that I ever tried to escape having emotions/feelings.  Of course, we all want to avoid negative emotions, but if we didn’t have the negative ones, such as sadness, jealousy, frustration, fear, guilt or doubt–would we have the capacity for happiness, love, faith, peace or trust?  Logically, no.  When I came to terms with this logic, I was able to understand the purpose of emotions and fully experience negative and positive feelings with a sense of peace.  Ironically, it’s only by understanding things emotionally, that I’m able to be brave and resolute with major life decisions, (though it is still a learning process).

If we are aware of why we have certain feelings, we are able to adjust ourselves to a more consistent way of thinking.  How could I have ever thought of emotion being a bad thing, or something that shouldn’t happen?  Emotion is the flavor of life!  Not only is it a level of experience in life, but when we are conscious of our emotions we can them navigate us through life.  It guides us towards evolution if we experience them consciously.

So current status, feeling all the feels.  Learning to be conscious through the process.

  • e·mo·tion (ĭ-mō′shən)
    • A mental state that arises spontaneously rather than through conscious effort and is often accompanied by physiological changes.
    • Such mental states or the qualities that are associated with them, especially in contrast to reason: a decision based on emotion rather than logic.
  • log·ic (lŏj′ĭk)
    • A system of reasoning: Aristotle’s logic.
    • A mode of reasoning.
    • The formal, guiding principles of a discipline, school, or science.
    • Valid reasoning.

Definitions acquired from http://www.thefreedictionary.com.

Vision

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Do you ever sit and think about your life? If so, what do you see? Do you think about current circumstances, past endeavors, or future happenings? What do you think of more? What is in your daily conversation with others? What’s you’re daily conversation with yourself? What is in your current line of vision?

I recently had a conversation with an old friend, and I came across a thought that a certain part my life has not developed to its best potential because I never envisioned myself at the “top” position. Other parts of my life have taken precedent in my daily thoughts, and I haven’t actually envisioned where I want to be or how I want to feel in this certain area of my life. With every other area, I thought of where I want to be and made plans to get there, whether the plans were executed to success or failure. So how can I expect an end result in this certain area that I give no thought to?

A great part of me that is romantic and believes that whatever is for me will come across my path at some point. And I do believe that all choices and circumstances have built my current perception (optimistic yet practical). But the logical part of me understands that all worthwhile achievements take planning and time to accomplish. If I have not envisioned myself in this position, I will not be able to even see when this opportunity crosses my path, much less take on the responsibility that comes with it (or the power and know how to hold onto it).

Life is about vision, followed by actionable steps. So I have started envisioning what it would feel like to be in this position. I think of ways to prepare being in this position. We often think of the benefits and don’t think of the sacrifice. My vision includes all of the above.

So envision what it is you want and how it would feel to achieve it. If it’s a position at work, what would that position’s workload entail? Build yourself to the point of knowledge and confidence, so that when you are given the opportunity, you will be able to take it on. Your vision is your own. Take sight, and execute.

Authenticity

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“And you know the truth by the way it feels.” – India Arie

It is easier to walk a road that’s paved. It’s easier to decide on what you want when someone tells you it’s what’s best. It’s easier to adhere to what the world tells you you are, or should be, because it’s less scary. It’s safe. But at what point does keeping it safe prevent you from “keeping it real.”

The most profound thing we can do in our lives, is to be honest with ourselves. This is why people mediate. This is why people pray. It allows reflection to see those parts that are damaged, broken, bruised and healing, and gives insight to the lives we have lived and the lives we wish to live. When we are willing to look at the parts of ourselves that aren’t what we want them to be, we are able to make the choice to accept and love those parts, or to change them/our perception of them. With that same insight, we are also about to see those parts that we love about ourselves, and praise them unapologetically. Only then can we truly be authentic in this world. We are not all successes, or all failures. We are made up of a plethora of life experiences that help mold us.

We all have shit that we’ve been raised with and in. We all have shit that we’ve put up with and have been been put through. We all have shit that we have to let go of and shit that we wish to change. We all have shit that we have to accept in order to move forward. But how often do take the time to look at yourself and truly assess who you are in your day to day life, to who you want to be when you lay your head down at night? This has nothing to do with the image in the mirror, or the parts that we can pretty up in front of a total stranger. Neither does this have anything to do with how the people who raised you, view you, or what your friends and associates think of you. Yes, these are important, as we are social beings. But there is a line to be drawn, as there are so many things outside of ourselves that can distort our perception of ourselves, and our lives, if we let it. Knowing who you are, and what your core beliefs are, makes it possible to draw that line clearly.

I find that one of the things that makes this possible, is learning how to differentiate and originate fleeting moments of passion, rage, hurt, pride, fear. In understanding yourself and where these feelings come from, you are able to get down to the real truth of it. And yes I said real truth because, there are levels to this. There are levels to your being. You are a being made of mental, spiritual, physical, and emotional influences. Some people are ruled more by one than the other. It is up to you to get to know yourself well enough to acknowledge which attributes you are more drawn to, so that you may find balance. First step in authenticity is getting real WITH YOURSELF.

I haven’t always been grounded, and I probably won’t be every single day for the rest of my life, but I progress. I know that I am not the same person I was a year or two years ago, and I am accepting of the challenges I face. I accept my truth. By facing myself every day and by doing my best to stay grounded, I am getting to know myself better. I am getting to understand myself better. I am getting to trust myself more. I always do my best to be honest and straightforward in my day to day life and I do my best to stay true to my core beliefs. With them in place, I know I live my day to day with authenticity.

What do you need in order to live within the realms of your authenticity?

authentic

1a : worthy of acceptance or belief as conforming to or based on fact

b : conforming to an original so as to reproduce essential features

c : made or done the same way as an original

2: not false or imitation : real, actual

3: true to one’s own personality, spirit, or character

definition acquired from www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/authentic

Accountability

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Life is a process that includes failing over and over again for the sake of learning how to live the best life we can. It is imagined that each of these choices lead us to a life that we intend. So ask yourself three questions:

  • At this point, am I living the life I intended?
  • Am I on the road to the life I envision for myself?
  • How much have I held myself accountable for the choices I have made in relation to the outcome of my life at this point?

This idea of accountability has been on my mind as of late. Honestly, I wrongly held it in judgment of another. Once I put into perspective that this person’s choices are personal and should only be judged by this person, and can only be changed by this person, I directed this critical lens to myself. I asked myself those same questions and came to the conclusion that I am too often careless with my thoughts, too often careless in my words, and too often careless in my actions. I need to be more intentional in my every day life.

I came to this conclusion with full understanding of how blessed I am and have been. Many tangible blessings came over the past few years, with conscious thought and direction of spirit and action. Others came by seeming happenstance. And I say seeming, because I believe that we all manifest things, people, and circumstances into our lives. Even if we are not conscious of how we called them into our lives, they are put here to teach us about ourselves in relation to the world and to expose us to the world as a whole. It is our job to learn and apply as necessary.

So, how do you view life? Your vision, your ethics, your ambition, etc., are all tools you develop and strengthen throughout life. Do you let things, people and circumstances sharpen those tools to or do you shift your direction and let them control your actions negatively?

We are all blessed with talents and many of us acquire special skills. To acquire our goals, we must direct these talents and acquired knowledge to make choices that positively influence us and those around us in a positive way. When we hold ourselves accountable for our lives and choices, we are able to make the necessary changes to our thoughts and outer worlds to better fit our vision.

Accountability starts with the way we see our lives, continues with how much we believe we have an influence over our lives, and ends with the actions we take within our lives. Make each thought, feeling and action count.

ac·count·a·bil·i·ty
əˌkoun(t)əˈbilədē/

noun

:the quality or state of being accountable; especially :an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one’s actions
Definition acquired by https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/accountability

I wrote a poem yesterday (11/11/2017), inspired by this topic, and it is featured on the “Poetry” page (link above).

Expect more poetry in the future, but if you want to read new poetry daily, follow me on any one of my social media pages.

Patience

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“Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.” -Aristotle

I chose to write on this topic because of the way certain intense failures and progresses have converged at this time of my life. My posts in the past few weeks have touched on failing and continuing to work on those goals. I spoke about having the courage to get back up after those failures. But what is also key, is having the patience and mind-set to do so. Patience has never been a strength of mine. I don’t believe I ever thought I could ever gain patience because I only do things when I am ready to take on the challenge. So when I am ready, I want what I want, when I want it, which means right away. I know that’s not the way things work; I think I’ve always known that, but I was never able to take a look at the bigger picture. But with maturity, I am starting to realize that just as I cannot be rushed, no process can be rushed. Things happen in their due time and I believe it’s life’s lessons that have matured me in this sense. Little by little, in understanding that cliche, “patience is a virtue,” I hope that my character is strengthened and deepened; because even with continued understanding of Faith, learning how to be patient has been a painstaking lesson to learn.

As stated in previous posts (I hope you read them), I have tried and failed with a few goals. But with others, I now see their progress and imminent fruition. When I set these goals I knew that they would take time, but I did not know how long they would take to complete. It has taken over a year just for me to just to see progress. There were times of frustration, but in seeing that my persistence has paid off, I realize now, how important it is to never give up or force-ripen a fruit, a goal. With the honest labor of love for a given desire, all things will be. And even with the failed attempts, I know that I have to continue being patient with achieving them, simply because I still want these things. I know it’s cheesy, but to me, attempting and failing is life speaking to me. It’s another life lesson on patience. I believe I can have anything I want and work for. So I still work on achieving these goals. I will not give up, regardless of how many times I stumble or fail.

Another benefit through having patience and Faith, is that I am able to fully appreciate other progresses made. It makes me realize that life is a journey and though at times I am disappointed or frustrated by a temporary failure, I am restored to a heart full of appreciation and I take what good I can from it. And in being more patient with the situation, I am more patient with myself. I am able to be more appreciative of myself and my gifts, and realize that I cannot force any given situation or my growth. After those moments of anger, frustration, disappointment and sadness I realize that all those feelings do is blur my vision to my current goals and my current blessings; all I see in those moments are failure, and pain in disappointment. If I apply for a job, enter a contest or try to lose a certain amount of pounds, even if I do not accomplish what it is I want when I want it, I will always get what it is I need to get what I ultimately want in due time.

With time, my goals may change as I change, but in being patient I find I am more clear in mind. I am not frustrated with forcing any given result to happen right away. So lately I’ve just been more conscious of waking-up outwardly grateful for the progress I have made. I am more conscious of being grateful for my number one inspiration, LOVE. I work to keep my goals in focus everyday. And for that I feel wiser; I feel stronger; I feel empowered and more ready to try again at those things I didn’t yet accomplish. And I’ve been more content and happier for it. I never really say exactly what my goals are, but I aim to sustain this mind-set; because perpetual happiness is an ultimate goal.

Dependency – The Scary yet Relieving Truth to Love

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Within every close relationship there is a dependency on the other person. This is especially within a romantic relationship because you tell yourself that you are going to intertwine parts of your life with another. Regardless of how independent your are, you invest yourself by sharing your brightest dreams and darkest fears. It takes dedication and Trust. It takes two people being fully honest with their hopes and dreams as well as their fears, abilities and shortcomings. Ideally, I’d want someone who wants as much as I do, loves as hard as I do, dreams as much as I do, gives as much as I do and is honest. Someone who makes being with them effortless because his character and love will uplift me in my efforts to love him with inspired passion for life and love.

But it is hard finding those who are willing to face their fears in Love and is able to give the devotion I believe a romantic love requires. This is the greatest challenge, the crux. I still have an idealistic view, which I realize is harder to uphold regardless of my own beliefs. But though my vision has changed, it’s changed for the better. I no longer see things in black and white, but I see color in bright hues and pale pallets. I still believe in finding one who supports me through my greatest challenges, whether internal or external. Because that is the best part of Love. It’s having someone who will Love you through your worst and cheer you on through your best. It’s the one who sees your potential and judges your character through your effort to be better and not your flaws. And it is the one who will inspire you to Love harder and deeper and reach further within yourself to be the person you work to be.

Love inspires all things, so inspire love. © ♥ 😍

Forgive

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Cliche, I know. But with the “whole new year, new me” slogan that goes around about this time, I thought forgiveness was a proper topic to speak on. They say that when you forgive you free yourself from the poisionous burden of hate, resentment, anger… etc. So the new year is one of the best times to take all the baggage you’ve accumulated and start 2014 off “light.”

Now, when I talk about forgiveness, I’m not just talking about forgiving your parents or your boyfriend/girlfriend. I’m also talking about forgiving yourself. We don’t always achieve our given goal on the first, second or third try. We don’t always stay focused on every single goal we’ve set your sights on. And we are often harder on ourselves than others. We are more willing and quicker to give others another chance than we are for ourselves. It may just be because we tend to pay more attention to what others have intentionally/unintentionally done to us than what we do to ourselves unintentionally. It’s more tangible in a way. But when we let ourselves down we must be conscious and not lose hope or Faith in our potential for growth and greatness. We are so flawed in our humanity in many aspects, but in others we are magnificent creators. I’ve always said (since this year), Love inspires all things, so inspire Love.© So keep Faith in Love.

Now, I say not to lose Faith, but who am I kidding? This is the goal, but sometimes we do. So what must we do when we feel as though we’ve lost Faith in ourself and/or progression? Restore Faith! If you have let yourself down, do something to lift your spirits. Acheive something! Prove to yourself that you can still accomplish so much. If you’ve let someone else down, preform a grand gesture to initiate Faith and let that person know that he/she can still count on you. Reliability is a cornerstone of any of relationship so to forgive yourself/another and to be forgiven is no easy feat. But one can with hard work, time and an open heart and mind. And what better way to face 2014 than with an open heart and mind?

Blessings everyone. Be safe.

And remember… Love inspires all things, so inspire Love.© ♥

To Succeed in Trying

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About a week ago I found myself in a negative mind space. It wasn’t the first time and it probably won’t be the last. So as a boost, I declared to the Facebook universe that I would do something inspiring to myself. What better thing for me to do than write?!

I guess this is a confession of sorts, because in all honesty, everything that I’ve done that seems the least bit inspiring has been done for the sake of my spirit. I guess I haven’t needed much inspiring lately because I haven’t been doing much inspiring (if that makes sense). I hadn’t been writing as much, working out as much, singing as much or practicing my guitar. I’ve set so many goals and have so far to go, yet I haven’t been giving them my all. And to say the least, I was a bit disappointed with my actions.

Because goals set had not come to complete fruition I felt as though I hasn’t really accomplishing anything. I haven’t been doing as much as I used to, and I realized in a sense I was basing my accomplishments on the saying “to try is to fail.” One must just do, right? And I guess to some degree, I agree. But there is a part of me that says that saying is wrong. The first attempt at a new accomplishment, or any accomplishment for that matter, is the act of trying. You’re not sure what the outcome will be but you make the attempt anyway. I actually think that giving an honest try at a goal is an accomplishment in itself. It’s coming to terms with possible initial failure and still stepping forward, chest out, heart out, hope out. I don’t know anyone who wants to fail, so to tell yourself that you will do something no matter how many times you seem to fail says something tremendous about your spirit. And I guess one can argue that everyone should always go into and endeavour expecting to accomplish their desired result. But sometimes life is funny way of showing you your strengths in what path to take to your goal.

We learn everyday, and lots of times that learning is of ourselves. We learn where we’re weak and where we’re strong. In my trying I’ve seen weaknesses that I obviously didn’t like. I work at being better, but there were setbacks, both internal and external. Still, I work to make those changes a way of life. I could continue to wallow in the fact that there is still much growth to be had but I look at the changes and know I’m well on my way to all I want to accomplish. Though I’m not there, I know the key is to try continually . So I’ve accepted new challenges as well as refashioned my goals to be more short-term successes–breaking down the time frames. Where I was a year ago shows significant growth in all aspects of my life. So I will continue to try and be better.

“Try: to make an effort to do or accomplish something.”

#knowbetterdobetter

Know Thyself

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A million apologies to those loyal who read “Words and Perceptions…” and have been waiting for another post. To say the least, this past month has been a wonderfully surprising and filled with all the lovely things that life has to offer. A CHANGE HAS COME! And I give full credit to the power of positivity. Through reflection and pushing past fears to achieve goals set forth, I was able to take steps upward and outward. Though there is still much to do, by acknowledging my power, I was able to move forward towards goals that I set months ago.

So many of us move through life not truly knowing or understanding the power we have within us to achieve tremendous goals and live the life we want. We struggle, but many of us give up before the breakthrough. So we continue living life in a stagnant phase. The greatest thing I could had done for myself was analyzing my past and identifying my strengths, weaknesses and fears. I even went as far as identifying where some of these fears stemmed from. By doing this I was able to convince myself to move forward towards completing what I wanted to achieve, with what I knew about myself. I continually told myself that anything is possible to work through/ to, once I’m 100% honest with my limitations at that specific time. Through being honest with myself, I was able to work past those limitations.

You can be ever-evolving, if you want to be. And it is only through knowing who you are and what you want to be that you can achieve things you probably didn’t think you could a year ago, a month ago or a week ago. You must not listen to naysayers, even if one of those naysayers is you. Know thyself. Know if you are the thing that’s holding you back from being great. Know if you’re the reason you have yet to find true love. Know if you’re the reason you have not been able to make a positive impact in the world.
Knowledge is power. Knowledge of self is the key to vision! Open your eyes and mind to the universe!

“…know thyself … and thou shalt know the gods.”

Reflection

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I am blessed.

I did not need to reflect to come to this conclusion. This is something I’ve always known. But over time, I’ve realized that reflection is needed to grow and appreciate those blessings on another level. Reflection is needed for me to understand myself and become better. These posts have been a way for me to reflect and decide what it is that I really want out of life. Through this consideration, I was able to build a perspective and an energy that has brought wonderful experiences and people into my life and immediate circle. Sometimes it was not easy to look back on my wrongdoings or own-up to my flaws, but I am ever grateful for the strength and love that is within and that has surrounded me. And hope that my gratitude continues to be received well by the universe.

Many times we go through experiences, get hurt and are ready to point the finger. What did the other person do to make the situation end-up the way it did? How did the other person hurt me? Why am I right, and why is the other person wrong? Life is full experiences and lessons. We often look at all of the things we gave, but we must also look at all the things we didn’t give. This is not to put ourselves down, but to look at the entire situation; to see our strengths and weaknesses. Most times we forget to do that. At the end of this reflection, we are able to ask the question “was I fair” and “how can I be better?” Yes, we are able to decide how we will allow others to treat us and learn of traits that we consider undesirable, by solely focusing at the flaws of the other person. But this not all that is needed to grow towards one’s full potential. This alone, creates boundaries. And we must strive to make our world and perspective bigger, not smaller.

It is said that like attracts like. It is said that everything happens for a reason. When you relfect, you are able to see parts of yourself in those people who hurt you. With that said, there is a reason why that person was in your life then and is no longer. There is a reason you went through that experience. Reflect, think of why. And don’t do it with an ounce of pity for yourself in your heart. Look at it with the goal and mindset of “how can this make me better?” Were you shown a part of yourself that you didn’t like? Were you challenged beyond where you are willing to go? People are in our lives because we put them there. Think of why you put this person there. Think of why they are no longer there. Your world is yours alone. Face the challenges head-on. Be better.

I still stumble on my path. But I find comfort in knowing that it is natural and that I am putting my best foot forward in practicing my new life philosophies and in working towards long-term goals. Reflection allows me to see where I’ve made mistakes. I reflect to gain perspective. Reflection allows me to give thanks for all that I have and all that I’ve gained in strength and wisdom. And I continue learning which allows me to take bolder steps and larger leaps of Faith.

It’s all about growth and betterment. Reflect.