Authenticity

“And you know the truth by the way it feels.” – India Arie

It is easier to walk a road that’s paved. It’s easier to decide on what you want when someone tells you it’s what’s best. It’s easier to adhere to what the world tells you you are, or should be, because it’s less scary. It’s safe. But at what point does keeping it safe prevent you from “keeping it real.”

The most profound thing we can do in our lives, is to be honest with ourselves. This is why people mediate. This is why people pray. It allows reflection to see those parts that are damaged, broken, bruised and healing, and gives insight to the lives we have lived and the lives we wish to live. When we are willing to look at the parts of ourselves that aren’t what we want them to be, we are able to make the choice to accept and love those parts, or to change them/our perception of them. With that same insight, we are also about to see those parts that we love about ourselves, and praise them unapologetically. Only then can we truly be authentic in this world. We are not all successes, or all failures. We are made up of a plethora of life experiences that help mold us.

We all have shit that we’ve been raised with and in. We all have shit that we’ve put up with and have been been put through. We all have shit that we have to let go of and shit that we wish to change. We all have shit that we have to accept in order to move forward. But how often do take the time to look at yourself and truly assess who you are in your day to day life, to who you want to be when you lay your head down at night? This has nothing to do with the image in the mirror, or the parts that we can pretty up in front of a total stranger. Neither does this have anything to do with how the people who raised you, view you, or what your friends and associates think of you. Yes, these are important, as we are social beings. But there is a line to be drawn, as there are so many things outside of ourselves that can distort our perception of ourselves, and our lives, if we let it. Knowing who you are, and what your core beliefs are, makes it possible to draw that line clearly.

I find that one of the things that makes this possible, is learning how to differentiate and originate fleeting moments of passion, rage, hurt, pride, fear. In understanding yourself and where these feelings come from, you are able to get down to the real truth of it. And yes I said real truth because, there are levels to this. There are levels to your being. You are a being made of mental, spiritual, physical, and emotional influences. Some people are ruled more by one than the other. It is up to you to get to know yourself well enough to acknowledge which attributes you are more drawn to, so that you may find balance. First step in authenticity is getting real WITH YOURSELF.

I haven’t always been grounded, and I probably won’t be every single day for the rest of my life, but I progress. I know that I am not the same person I was a year or two years ago, and I am accepting of the challenges I face. I accept my truth. By facing myself every day and by doing my best to stay grounded, I am getting to know myself better. I am getting to understand myself better. I am getting to trust myself more. I always do my best to be honest and straightforward in my day to day life and I do my best to stay true to my core beliefs. With them in place, I know I live my day to day with authenticity.

What do you need in order to live within the realms of your authenticity?

authentic

1a : worthy of acceptance or belief as conforming to or based on fact

b : conforming to an original so as to reproduce essential features

c : made or done the same way as an original

2: not false or imitation : real, actual

3: true to one’s own personality, spirit, or character

definition acquired from www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/authentic

Patience

“Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.” -Aristotle

I chose to write on this topic because of the way certain intense failures and progresses have converged at this time of my life. My posts in the past few weeks have touched on failing and continuing to work on those goals. I spoke about having the courage to get back up after those failures. But what is also key, is having the patience and mind-set to do so. Patience has never been a strength of mine. I don’t believe I ever thought I could ever gain patience because I only do things when I am ready to take on the challenge. So when I am ready, I want what I want, when I want it, which means right away. I know that’s not the way things work; I think I’ve always known that, but I was never able to take a look at the bigger picture. But with maturity, I am starting to realize that just as I cannot be rushed, no process can be rushed. Things happen in their due time and I believe it’s life’s lessons that have matured me in this sense. Little by little, in understanding that cliche, “patience is a virtue,” I hope that my character is strengthened and deepened; because even with continued understanding of Faith, learning how to be patient has been a painstaking lesson to learn.

As stated in previous posts (I hope you read them), I have tried and failed with a few goals. But with others, I now see their progress and imminent fruition. When I set these goals I knew that they would take time, but I did not know how long they would take to complete. It has taken over a year just for me to just to see progress. There were times of frustration, but in seeing that my persistence has paid off, I realize now, how important it is to never give up or force-ripen a fruit, a goal. With the honest labor of love for a given desire, all things will be. And even with the failed attempts, I know that I have to continue being patient with achieving them, simply because I still want these things. I know it’s cheesy, but to me, attempting and failing is life speaking to me. It’s another life lesson on patience. I believe I can have anything I want and work for. So I still work on achieving these goals. I will not give up, regardless of how many times I stumble or fail.

Another benefit through having patience and Faith, is that I am able to fully appreciate other progresses made. It makes me realize that life is a journey and though at times I am disappointed or frustrated by a temporary failure, I am restored to a heart full of appreciation and I take what good I can from it. And in being more patient with the situation, I am more patient with myself. I am able to be more appreciative of myself and my gifts, and realize that I cannot force any given situation or my growth. After those moments of anger, frustration, disappointment and sadness I realize that all those feelings do is blur my vision to my current goals and my current blessings; all I see in those moments are failure, and pain in disappointment. If I apply for a job, enter a contest or try to lose a certain amount of pounds, even if I do not accomplish what it is I want when I want it, I will always get what it is I need to get what I ultimately want in due time.

With time, my goals may change as I change, but in being patient I find I am more clear in mind. I am not frustrated with forcing any given result to happen right away. So lately I’ve just been more conscious of waking-up outwardly grateful for the progress I have made. I am more conscious of being grateful for my number one inspiration, LOVE. I work to keep my goals in focus everyday. And for that I feel wiser; I feel stronger; I feel empowered and more ready to try again at those things I didn’t yet accomplish. And I’ve been more content and happier for it. I never really say exactly what my goals are, but I aim to sustain this mind-set; because perpetual happiness is an ultimate goal.

Completion Through Love

My vision
My soul-mate
I was made whole
But completion is what I sought
In you
In me
The charge behind my passions
The comfort in my holds
Released within your arms
The world, a fog beyond my grasp
We will create
We will inspire
Seeing everything and nothing beyond our world
Together
We have so much to do
Cultivate
Build
To inspire within each other what we want to see in the world
The challenge and privilege of Love
Of THIS Love
We are the seed
We are just a branch of a tree
Just the stem to a leaf
We were made whole
But we sought completion
The balance we craved and seeked blindly was in the other
Heart to Heart
Mind to Mind
Soul to Soul

AMBITION

You keep telling me that what I want is too big
You keep telling me that the words won’t come
There’s a familiar grip around my spirit, but still I fix my gaze onto success
It doesn’t matter where I stand at this very moment or what I currently hold in my hand
My mind’s eye is set on site and my heart is open
There’s so much that I want
And I’m learning how to receive
Learning how to listen and how to speak
Things come slow but I must not let it slip in my passionate grip
So often that’s been the case
Feminine finesse and faithful patience are still acquiring traits
So sometimes I take for granted the Queen in me
Overbearing strength is not always the way
Still molding myself and my mind
But as long as my hands can write
And as long and my heart can feel
I will write life into my dreams
I will write of love beyond loss
Goals set forth, whose bearings are implanted in my character and creativity
Better than before and smarter than before I aim higher than before
I love harder than before
And all that I am is the foundation to all that will be

Dependency – The Scary yet Relieving Truth to Love

Within every close relationship there is a dependency on the other person. This is especially within a romantic relationship because you tell yourself that you are going to intertwine parts of your life with another. Regardless of how independent your are, you invest yourself by sharing your brightest dreams and darkest fears. It takes dedication and Trust. It takes two people being fully honest with their hopes and dreams as well as their fears, abilities and shortcomings. Ideally, I’d want someone who wants as much as I do, loves as hard as I do, dreams as much as I do, gives as much as I do and is honest. Someone who makes being with them effortless because his character and love will uplift me in my efforts to love him with inspired passion for life and love.

But it is hard finding those who are willing to face their fears in Love and is able to give the devotion I believe a romantic love requires. This is the greatest challenge, the crux. I still have an idealistic view, which I realize is harder to uphold regardless of my own beliefs. But though my vision has changed, it’s changed for the better. I no longer see things in black and white, but I see color in bright hues and pale pallets. I still believe in finding one who supports me through my greatest challenges, whether internal or external. Because that is the best part of Love. It’s having someone who will Love you through your worst and cheer you on through your best. It’s the one who sees your potential and judges your character through your effort to be better and not your flaws. And it is the one who will inspire you to Love harder and deeper and reach further within yourself to be the person you work to be.

Love inspires all things, so inspire love. © ♥ 😍

The Will of Identity

I usually start off a post with an idea of where I want it to go. I write down a few paragraphs on the train and go back to it in the days after. During those days an event happens or I read something that allows me to expand on my initial idea. This time, the evolution of the post took a while longer. Because even though I went back to the post multiple times, my idea wasn’t being expressed the way I wanted it to. It was frustrating, but in understanding that process, I am able to exemplify my idea of “the will of identity.”

This post itself has an identity. It has a will to be something. As its writer, my will is it’s will; its will is mine. I define what it is by the many words I choose and it will only be complete when I’m happy with its wording.

This post is not to be confused with having labels or titles that we put on ourselves and each other. This post is bring forth the idea of the mind, body and spirit: the driving forces of one’s will. Yes, we are inclined to react to the world in ways we were taught. We are inclined to react to the world based on our experience. But we all have the will to be something, a lot of times in spite of our upbringing. And we are the ones who choose whether that will is manifested or suppressed. As an athlete, as a writer, as a lollygagger, as a friend, as an artist, as a lover, even as an employee or all of the above, we decide who we are. Our identity is made of many different parts, comprised of everyday of our lives and we decide what the result of a day will be. We may think “we are who we are,” and that’s true to some degree, but even in that notion, you define yourself in that belief and act from it.

Lessons that we learn and stick with us become a part of our identity. There was one lesson that my father taught me that relates to this post. On a drive, I asked him about the reasons he made certain choices in his life, and he told me, “everyone deserves to be happy.”  It’s a lesson that many of us don’t seem to grasp because we feel as though we are victims of circumstance.  “This happened because of this.” “I am this way because of this.” But we must take the time to truly understand a situation, to understand ourselves and understand these lessons of life. We must determine what it is what we want and act from it. That’s where our will comes in.

The main point I am trying to make is that we define ourselves by our content (what we choose to feed our mind, body and soul with) and actions (what we choose to do day by day). What you think and do will not only affect how others identify and feel about you, but how you identify and feel about yourself (most importantly).   Because when you go against your will there are conflicts within yourself. Sometimes you may not be conscious of exactly what or why it is you feel the disruptance within you, but that’s where understanding comes in. Sometimes the distruptance is needed, for the sake of change, to be different than you were, to be better.

The ultimate goal is to be happy. Let your will take you there.

Forgive

Cliche, I know. But with the “whole new year, new me” slogan that goes around about this time, I thought forgiveness was a proper topic to speak on. They say that when you forgive you free yourself from the poisionous burden of hate, resentment, anger… etc. So the new year is one of the best times to take all the baggage you’ve accumulated and start 2014 off “light.”

Now, when I talk about forgiveness, I’m not just talking about forgiving your parents or your boyfriend/girlfriend. I’m also talking about forgiving yourself. We don’t always achieve our given goal on the first, second or third try. We don’t always stay focused on every single goal we’ve set your sights on. And we are often harder on ourselves than others. We are more willing and quicker to give others another chance than we are for ourselves. It may just be because we tend to pay more attention to what others have intentionally/unintentionally done to us than what we do to ourselves unintentionally. It’s more tangible in a way. But when we let ourselves down we must be conscious and not lose hope or Faith in our potential for growth and greatness. We are so flawed in our humanity in many aspects, but in others we are magnificent creators. I’ve always said (since this year), Love inspires all things, so inspire Love.© So keep Faith in Love.

Now, I say not to lose Faith, but who am I kidding? This is the goal, but sometimes we do. So what must we do when we feel as though we’ve lost Faith in ourself and/or progression? Restore Faith! If you have let yourself down, do something to lift your spirits. Acheive something! Prove to yourself that you can still accomplish so much. If you’ve let someone else down, preform a grand gesture to initiate Faith and let that person know that he/she can still count on you. Reliability is a cornerstone of any of relationship so to forgive yourself/another and to be forgiven is no easy feat. But one can with hard work, time and an open heart and mind. And what better way to face 2014 than with an open heart and mind?

Blessings everyone. Be safe.

And remember… Love inspires all things, so inspire Love.© ♥

To Succeed in Trying

About a week ago I found myself in a negative mind space. It wasn’t the first time and it probably won’t be the last. So as a boost, I declared to the Facebook universe that I would do something inspiring to myself. What better thing for me to do than write?!

I guess this is a confession of sorts, because in all honesty, everything that I’ve done that seems the least bit inspiring has been done for the sake of my spirit. I guess I haven’t needed much inspiring lately because I haven’t been doing much inspiring (if that makes sense). I hadn’t been writing as much, working out as much, singing as much or practicing my guitar. I’ve set so many goals and have so far to go, yet I haven’t been giving them my all. And to say the least, I was a bit disappointed with my actions.

Because goals set had not come to complete fruition I felt as though I hasn’t really accomplishing anything. I haven’t been doing as much as I used to, and I realized in a sense I was basing my accomplishments on the saying “to try is to fail.” One must just do, right? And I guess to some degree, I agree. But there is a part of me that says that saying is wrong. The first attempt at a new accomplishment, or any accomplishment for that matter, is the act of trying. You’re not sure what the outcome will be but you make the attempt anyway. I actually think that giving an honest try at a goal is an accomplishment in itself. It’s coming to terms with possible initial failure and still stepping forward, chest out, heart out, hope out. I don’t know anyone who wants to fail, so to tell yourself that you will do something no matter how many times you seem to fail says something tremendous about your spirit. And I guess one can argue that everyone should always go into and endeavour expecting to accomplish their desired result. But sometimes life is funny way of showing you your strengths in what path to take to your goal.

We learn everyday, and lots of times that learning is of ourselves. We learn where we’re weak and where we’re strong. In my trying I’ve seen weaknesses that I obviously didn’t like. I work at being better, but there were setbacks, both internal and external. Still, I work to make those changes a way of life. I could continue to wallow in the fact that there is still much growth to be had but I look at the changes and know I’m well on my way to all I want to accomplish. Though I’m not there, I know the key is to try continually . So I’ve accepted new challenges as well as refashioned my goals to be more short-term successes–breaking down the time frames. Where I was a year ago shows significant growth in all aspects of my life. So I will continue to try and be better.

“Try: to make an effort to do or accomplish something.”

#knowbetterdobetter

Know Thyself

A million apologies to those loyal who read “Words and Perceptions…” and have been waiting for another post. To say the least, this past month has been a wonderfully surprising and filled with all the lovely things that life has to offer. A CHANGE HAS COME! And I give full credit to the power of positivity. Through reflection and pushing past fears to achieve goals set forth, I was able to take steps upward and outward. Though there is still much to do, by acknowledging my power, I was able to move forward towards goals that I set months ago.

So many of us move through life not truly knowing or understanding the power we have within us to achieve tremendous goals and live the life we want. We struggle, but many of us give up before the breakthrough. So we continue living life in a stagnant phase. The greatest thing I could had done for myself was analyzing my past and identifying my strengths, weaknesses and fears. I even went as far as identifying where some of these fears stemmed from. By doing this I was able to convince myself to move forward towards completing what I wanted to achieve, with what I knew about myself. I continually told myself that anything is possible to work through/ to, once I’m 100% honest with my limitations at that specific time. Through being honest with myself, I was able to work past those limitations.

You can be ever-evolving, if you want to be. And it is only through knowing who you are and what you want to be that you can achieve things you probably didn’t think you could a year ago, a month ago or a week ago. You must not listen to naysayers, even if one of those naysayers is you. Know thyself. Know if you are the thing that’s holding you back from being great. Know if you’re the reason you have yet to find true love. Know if you’re the reason you have not been able to make a positive impact in the world.
Knowledge is power. Knowledge of self is the key to vision! Open your eyes and mind to the universe!

“…know thyself … and thou shalt know the gods.”

Reflection

I am blessed.

I did not need to reflect to come to this conclusion. This is something I’ve always known. But over time, I’ve realized that reflection is needed to grow and appreciate those blessings on another level. Reflection is needed for me to understand myself and become better. These posts have been a way for me to reflect and decide what it is that I really want out of life. Through this consideration, I was able to build a perspective and an energy that has brought wonderful experiences and people into my life and immediate circle. Sometimes it was not easy to look back on my wrongdoings or own-up to my flaws, but I am ever grateful for the strength and love that is within and that has surrounded me. And hope that my gratitude continues to be received well by the universe.

Many times we go through experiences, get hurt and are ready to point the finger. What did the other person do to make the situation end-up the way it did? How did the other person hurt me? Why am I right, and why is the other person wrong? Life is full experiences and lessons. We often look at all of the things we gave, but we must also look at all the things we didn’t give. This is not to put ourselves down, but to look at the entire situation; to see our strengths and weaknesses. Most times we forget to do that. At the end of this reflection, we are able to ask the question “was I fair” and “how can I be better?” Yes, we are able to decide how we will allow others to treat us and learn of traits that we consider undesirable, by solely focusing at the flaws of the other person. But this not all that is needed to grow towards one’s full potential. This alone, creates boundaries. And we must strive to make our world and perspective bigger, not smaller.

It is said that like attracts like. It is said that everything happens for a reason. When you relfect, you are able to see parts of yourself in those people who hurt you. With that said, there is a reason why that person was in your life then and is no longer. There is a reason you went through that experience. Reflect, think of why. And don’t do it with an ounce of pity for yourself in your heart. Look at it with the goal and mindset of “how can this make me better?” Were you shown a part of yourself that you didn’t like? Were you challenged beyond where you are willing to go? People are in our lives because we put them there. Think of why you put this person there. Think of why they are no longer there. Your world is yours alone. Face the challenges head-on. Be better.

I still stumble on my path. But I find comfort in knowing that it is natural and that I am putting my best foot forward in practicing my new life philosophies and in working towards long-term goals. Reflection allows me to see where I’ve made mistakes. I reflect to gain perspective. Reflection allows me to give thanks for all that I have and all that I’ve gained in strength and wisdom. And I continue learning which allows me to take bolder steps and larger leaps of Faith.

It’s all about growth and betterment. Reflect.