Category: Standards

Vision

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Do you ever sit and think about your life? If so, what do you see? Do you think about current circumstances, past endeavors, or future happenings? What do you think of more? What is in your daily conversation with others? What’s you’re daily conversation with yourself? What is in your current line of vision?

I recently had a conversation with an old friend, and I came across a thought that a certain part my life has not developed to its best potential because I never envisioned myself at the “top” position. Other parts of my life have taken precedent in my daily thoughts, and I haven’t actually envisioned where I want to be or how I want to feel in this certain area of my life. With every other area, I thought of where I want to be and made plans to get there, whether the plans were executed to success or failure. So how can I expect an end result in this certain area that I give no thought to?

A great part of me that is romantic and believes that whatever is for me will come across my path at some point. And I do believe that all choices and circumstances have built my current perception (optimistic yet practical). But the logical part of me understands that all worthwhile achievements take planning and time to accomplish. If I have not envisioned myself in this position, I will not be able to even see when this opportunity crosses my path, much less take on the responsibility that comes with it (or the power and know how to hold onto it).

Life is about vision, followed by actionable steps. So I have started envisioning what it would feel like to be in this position. I think of ways to prepare being in this position. We often think of the benefits and don’t think of the sacrifice. My vision includes all of the above.

So envision what it is you want and how it would feel to achieve it. If it’s a position at work, what would that position’s workload entail? Build yourself to the point of knowledge and confidence, so that when you are given the opportunity, you will be able to take it on. Your vision is your own. Take sight, and execute.

Authenticity

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“And you know the truth by the way it feels.” – India Arie

It is easier to walk a road that’s paved. It’s easier to decide on what you want when someone tells you it’s what’s best. It’s easier to adhere to what the world tells you you are, or should be, because it’s less scary. It’s safe. But at what point does keeping it safe prevent you from “keeping it real.”

The most profound thing we can do in our lives, is to be honest with ourselves. This is why people mediate. This is why people pray. It allows reflection to see those parts that are damaged, broken, bruised and healing, and gives insight to the lives we have lived and the lives we wish to live. When we are willing to look at the parts of ourselves that aren’t what we want them to be, we are able to make the choice to accept and love those parts, or to change them/our perception of them. With that same insight, we are also about to see those parts that we love about ourselves, and praise them unapologetically. Only then can we truly be authentic in this world. We are not all successes, or all failures. We are made up of a plethora of life experiences that help mold us.

We all have shit that we’ve been raised with and in. We all have shit that we’ve put up with and have been been put through. We all have shit that we have to let go of and shit that we wish to change. We all have shit that we have to accept in order to move forward. But how often do take the time to look at yourself and truly assess who you are in your day to day life, to who you want to be when you lay your head down at night? This has nothing to do with the image in the mirror, or the parts that we can pretty up in front of a total stranger. Neither does this have anything to do with how the people who raised you, view you, or what your friends and associates think of you. Yes, these are important, as we are social beings. But there is a line to be drawn, as there are so many things outside of ourselves that can distort our perception of ourselves, and our lives, if we let it. Knowing who you are, and what your core beliefs are, makes it possible to draw that line clearly.

I find that one of the things that makes this possible, is learning how to differentiate and originate fleeting moments of passion, rage, hurt, pride, fear. In understanding yourself and where these feelings come from, you are able to get down to the real truth of it. And yes I said real truth because, there are levels to this. There are levels to your being. You are a being made of mental, spiritual, physical, and emotional influences. Some people are ruled more by one than the other. It is up to you to get to know yourself well enough to acknowledge which attributes you are more drawn to, so that you may find balance. First step in authenticity is getting real WITH YOURSELF.

I haven’t always been grounded, and I probably won’t be every single day for the rest of my life, but I progress. I know that I am not the same person I was a year or two years ago, and I am accepting of the challenges I face. I accept my truth. By facing myself every day and by doing my best to stay grounded, I am getting to know myself better. I am getting to understand myself better. I am getting to trust myself more. I always do my best to be honest and straightforward in my day to day life and I do my best to stay true to my core beliefs. With them in place, I know I live my day to day with authenticity.

What do you need in order to live within the realms of your authenticity?

authentic

1a : worthy of acceptance or belief as conforming to or based on fact

b : conforming to an original so as to reproduce essential features

c : made or done the same way as an original

2: not false or imitation : real, actual

3: true to one’s own personality, spirit, or character

definition acquired from www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/authentic

Accountability

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Life is a process that includes failing over and over again for the sake of learning how to live the best life we can. It is imagined that each of these choices lead us to a life that we intend. So ask yourself three questions:

  • At this point, am I living the life I intended?
  • Am I on the road to the life I envision for myself?
  • How much have I held myself accountable for the choices I have made in relation to the outcome of my life at this point?

This idea of accountability has been on my mind as of late. Honestly, I wrongly held it in judgment of another. Once I put into perspective that this person’s choices are personal and should only be judged by this person, and can only be changed by this person, I directed this critical lens to myself. I asked myself those same questions and came to the conclusion that I am too often careless with my thoughts, too often careless in my words, and too often careless in my actions. I need to be more intentional in my every day life.

I came to this conclusion with full understanding of how blessed I am and have been. Many tangible blessings came over the past few years, with conscious thought and direction of spirit and action. Others came by seeming happenstance. And I say seeming, because I believe that we all manifest things, people, and circumstances into our lives. Even if we are not conscious of how we called them into our lives, they are put here to teach us about ourselves in relation to the world and to expose us to the world as a whole. It is our job to learn and apply as necessary.

So, how do you view life? Your vision, your ethics, your ambition, etc., are all tools you develop and strengthen throughout life. Do you let things, people and circumstances sharpen those tools to or do you shift your direction and let them control your actions negatively?

We are all blessed with talents and many of us acquire special skills. To acquire our goals, we must direct these talents and acquired knowledge to make choices that positively influence us and those around us in a positive way. When we hold ourselves accountable for our lives and choices, we are able to make the necessary changes to our thoughts and outer worlds to better fit our vision.

Accountability starts with the way we see our lives, continues with how much we believe we have an influence over our lives, and ends with the actions we take within our lives. Make each thought, feeling and action count.

ac·count·a·bil·i·ty
əˌkoun(t)əˈbilədē/

noun

:the quality or state of being accountable; especially :an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one’s actions
Definition acquired by https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/accountability

I wrote a poem yesterday (11/11/2017), inspired by this topic, and it is featured on the “Poetry” page (link above).

Expect more poetry in the future, but if you want to read new poetry daily, follow me on any one of my social media pages.

Challenges

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“Almost every adult is, in a greater or lesser degree, still struggling on the long journey to achieve selfhood on the basis of patterns which are set in his early experiences…” – Rollo May

One of the first challenges we face, and continue to face throughout our lives, is the battle between our ego and superego. The ego is “the part of the mind that mediates between the conscious and the unconscious and is responsible for reality testing and a sense of personal identity.” The superego is “only partly conscious, represents internalization of parental conscience and the rules of society, and functions to reward and punish through a system of moral attitudes, conscience, and a sense of guilt.” If we are working to be better, we have to unlearn as much as we have to learn, because there are things that bound us and things that allow us to live the lives we intend. It is true, “we are who we are,” but there are also things that we want to achieve and acquire on levels of consciousness, spirituality, physicality and materially, that we do not have from birth. These things are only acquired by overcoming challenges, great and small.

What is your definition of a challenge? How often do you think of the word and what it means in your everyday life? I ask this, because although I have faced challenges, I never realized that a challenge is the pathway to a goal (even when I started forming and working on my goals). Challenges are a part of every single day, consciously and subconsciously, big and small, overtly and in the subtexts of our lives. I realized that not seeing something as a challenge was a disservice to my growth. I never thought of being better as a challenge, per se. I just knew I wanted to be better or to acquire something. But in understanding the role of challenges in my life and betterment, I have gained more focus and a different perception. I realize that challenge doesn’t mean “hard.” A challenge is something worthwhile and achievable.

In trying to create a life we feel is up to our individual standards, we are faced with every possible distraction to veer us away from simply envisioning what we want our lives to be. And without vision, we cannot see the paths or steps to acquiring that life and are not able to consciously work towards that life. To get there, we must propose challenges upon ourselves, goals. And along the way, we will undoubtedly be faced with unexpected challenges. Either way, rising to a challenge, is the only way to get better. And we must work to move past being COMFORTABLE in order to learn and grow and acquire what it is we want to get.

A great analogy to challenges and life is Arnold Schwarzenegger’s comment in, “Pumping Iron,” the documentary. I felt I had to mention this, no matter how long winded this post may seem, because it struck me to my core. It made so much sense and put things in perspective with challenges that I was facing at the time. He stated, more or less, that it’s only by working past the pain barrier that the targeted muscle grows. You have to push and do those few reps after you start to feel the burn. That’s the only way you will see results and gains, with the challenges of life (and the challenges of lifting). Try thinking of it on those terms. You are the muscle, and it’s your mind and your will that get you through, helps you grow. That pain barrier is the crux to being better, stronger, a better defined individual.

Now that may seem grim. The only way we can experience joy is through pain. But I believe life was meant to be full of things that push and pull at our core, and force us to really see what we are made of. That which broadens your mind and your will is that which sustains and stretches our abilities as an individual and as a human being. Remember, life was not meant to be easy, but it was meant to be joyous and fulfilling. We have to continually push through that pain barrier to get to our desired destination.

Another thing to think about are all of the things that come in your path in a single day that distract you past the need and want for challenges? They can be surface or things that run deep. Are you fully aware of those everyday things?

Write down a goal you’re trying to achieve (in your phone, on a sticky note paper, wherever), whether long-term or short-term. As the day goes on, write down all the things, within that day, that keep you from achieving that goal. Example, a goal of mine is to be able to do a set of unassisted pull-ups by the end of the year. Something that keeps me from being able to do that currently is obviously my upper body strength. Before, it was also me accepting that I didn’t have enough upper-body strength, accepting my weakness, it was Netflix, Instagram, friends, laziness, lack of determination….etc. But what I’m trying to point out with this simple example, is that no matter how simplistic the challenge may be, there are many parts to the challenge which strengthen intangible things as well as those that can be seen with the plain eye (such as becoming more disciplined and confident with my workout regimen and having a more defined body, respectively).

I enjoy comfort immensely. I enjoy pleasure and luxury and being lazy. But I also enjoy the rewards of a challenge. I like the way my teres major feels the day after working on my pull-ups. In working through self imposed challenges, I feel better about myself because I’ve accomplished my set goal. In working past challenging times, I become a better person by learning different aspects of myself that weren’t previously revealed to me. All in all, challenges make me look at the world in a different way. I look at myself in a different way. I’ve realized that I am even more flawed than I knew and in turn, this makes me a bit more conscious and a bit more compassionate towards myself. I am more grounded as an individual, which allows me to challenge myself in different ways and work to be more compassionate with others.

Remember, challenges are the hoe to your garden. Once you till the foundation, you’re able to plant seeds for your future. You will be able to give more to yourself and others because you will feel and think more abundantly. I’m saying this through experience. The key is to this mindset is compassion and consciousness. Conscious change is a challenge that we struggle through, working past the comfort zone. But seeing and feeling the difference makes it all worth it. Recognizing even a slight bit more as to where energies were spent, is spent and should be spent allows further growth. When I take a look at myself on my journey with compassion, I am able to look at it a bit more objectively. I feel more virtuous and my esteem for myself and others are magnified.

“We must rediscover the sources of strength and integrity within ourselves.” -Rollo May

* Definitions were acquired from http://www.thefreedictionary.com.