Category: Relationships

Motivation

liberteeloveLeave a comment

On Saturday I went to fitness conference at the Jacob Javits Center. I’m still a bit sore, but it’s good pain. I’m thankful for that. But what I also enjoyed was the lecture that was given on motivation. “How do I get motivated to workout?” This was the question asked, and since I have been pretty consistent and work out on a regular basis as of late, I felt as though I shouldn’t stay and listen. But I stayed…a break in between classes. And the conversation turned into more than, what motivates you to workout. It turned into what motivates you in life. And I enjoyed it thoroughly because it echoed feelings and thoughts I’ve been having and further confirmed that I’m on the right track toward my goals. It inspired me.

Positivity is my lover and I do my best to be ever faithful. Being positive is key to all goals and all upward movement. And it is this frame of mind that draws motivated, inspirational people in my life. I remind myself why my view of life has lifted higher (goals, vision) and how I increased the power within myself. These points are key. You’re level in life is only as high as your vision. And with this vision, I know that all that I want will be acheived with Faith, consistent hard work and PATIENCE (god knows I’m still building on the latter).

So I stay grounded in a renewed and intensified (to an exponential power) love for myself, a love for my life and the people in it, an enthusiastic appreciation for all things good and in a knowing that no other power is greater than my own in my world, because I set the pace.

I SET THE FREQUENCY.

Something that was said in the lecture that relates to all things is, “where you are is where you’re supposed to be, because it is the sum result to all that you’ve done and all that has happened to you, to this point.” This concept was related to health so diet and exercise were the main variables. But this also relates to life. Is your life in tip top shape. Is it the vision you have for yourself? If so, keep doing what you are doing. If not, you can change that. Again, this will take patience, hard work and Faith in yourself to motivate towards your goal and to stay motivated. Whatever you want can be done. You can find a way. You can get there!

Life: Conceptualized, Visualized, Materialized

liberteeloveLeave a comment

Anyone who has been reading can say I’ve been documenting my transformation. This isn’t a physical transformation. It is all mental which makes it pretty abstract. Some of it does show in the way I eat and my efforts to stay consistent with working out (I see the muscles forming), a lot of what I have spoken has yet to put to the test. My view on Life and Love has changed tremendously and today I asked myself, if faced with the emotion of Love or faced with an opportunity to make significant headway on the things I’ve been working on, will I have the courage to take that chance?  Will I still have Faith once Love is staring me in the face, telling me to be vulnerable? Will I have the mind to take my talents to the next level when the opportunity arises? Because that will be the test that shows if I have truly evolved.

Throughout the reemergence of the blog, I’ve conceptualized life with my views on how Life and Love should be approached. And with that, I have realized that truly living takes courage. It’s facing fears. It’s being open. It’s taking chances. It’s trusting something other than yourself. It’s trusting yourself. These can be difficult tasks because of past experiences, past pains, your view on society through the view of society itself, or maybe you were just raised to live cautiously. But once you decide that what you want is more powerful than your fear of the journey to obtain it and see yourself only within that realm of power, you’re living on your own terms and you are able to turn your dreams or goals for your future, into the reality of your present moment.

Again, I come back to consciousness and living in the present.  It comes down to deciding what you want and working on achieving it, daily.  In the most basic analogy: to be fit one must workout and eat well regularly.   There may be cravings for chocolate cake and French fries, but that doesn’t serve the goal towards fitness. Be present in the moment but be conscious of how your decisions affect your progress.

I know I will be faced with the opportunity to attain everything I want.  At that moment I must remember my goal to stay consistent in my vision of Love and I must face the fear of being great and continue to move forward and upward with my goals. I must be patient and never doubt my ability to take on any challenges, whether internally or externally.  I must never lose perspective. I must gain perspecitive.  Everything is a lesson and everyday is a blessing.   And with it comes better knowledge of my own heart and mind and unshakeable Faith and strength.

“Wherever your heart is, that is where you’ll find your treasure.” 

Follow your heart and do not be turned away by fear. The benefits are massive!

Finding Love in Adolescence

liberteeloveLeave a comment

I wrote this a few years ago, observing and imagining what it is to be a teenager and feel Love without fully understanding yourself, much less, understanding what it is to truly love another person. As a teenager/ child, we are bombarded with images of what Love really is. Sometimes even as adults we lack the consciousness to grasp what Love really means and how to give and receive Love. But Life is the best teacher there is. I hope you enjoy!

**************************************************************
She lies in his bed
He rolls over and kisses her
Though he says he’d rather have ambition
He does nothing but try to keep her

He’s blind, and she loves him blindly
Not conscious, so they’re vulnerable to each other’s faults
Defensiveness makes them love anxiously
And progression escapes them because there’s nothing besides the two

They love each other deeply
Together before they even wanted to know of love
Still, they don’t know each other or themselves enough
To show what that means or to build

He says he loves her, but fights to love himself
His life is complicated as other young men he knows
Uneducated, brainwashed to think he can’t be more
So, he’s unable to understand love as a selfless action

Each is incomplete because they’re
Angry at themselves and life
They feel as though they got the clam and not the pearl
No longer wondering of possibility, just pressured

So close, so they can’t see how they fit; that they fit
But he travels deeply, and she’s wide open
He doesn’t see that she really loves him, without understanding
And she can’t see that he uses her to cope, in Love

He doesn’t know where to begin, to survive and provide in this world
And he swears no one understands his difficulties
So he runs the streets
Because he knows she’ll always be faithful

She thinks that her hope is defeated
And her man should be her life’s plan
She sticks because loving him is the only thing she thinks she’s good at
But they still have a long way to understand what it is to love

**************************************************************

liberteeloveLeave a comment

You keep telling me that what I want is too big
You keep telling me that the words won’t come
There’s a stifling grip around my spirit, but still I fix my gaze
It doesn’t matter where I stand at this very moment or what I currently hold in my hand
My mind’s eye is set on site
And my heart’s open
There’s so much that I want
And it is only now that I have the courage to admit it
So I’m learning how to give to receive
I’m learning how to whole-heartedly believe, though things come slowly
Conscious of my hold, so as not to slip with my passionate grip
Because overbearing strength is not always the way
Feminine finesse and faithful patience are still acquiring traits
But as long as my hands can write
And as long and my heart can feel
I will write of love and dreams beyond loss
And I will write life and love into my dreams
Goals set forth, bearings implanted in my character and creativity
Reminding myself to no longer take for granted the queen in me
Still molding myself and my mind
So much more revealed in my constant kneading
And I am better than before
I am smarter than before
I love better than before
And all that I am is the foundation to all that will be

My Favorite F Words

liberteeloveLeave a comment

Sometimes the best lessons are not profound. What is real doesn’t always have to be “discovered.” Many times, what is most real is the constant within our lives. It is the seed planted within a child and the vine of knowledge that is nurtured in his/her growth. It is the subconscious.

Over the weekend I was able to spend time with family members I hadn’t seen in years. But even though it had been so long, the bond is still strong. In speaking with them, I further strengthened revelations I’ve had recently and have come to realize that all the things that seem new to me are things that I’ve been instilled with. To be independent and strong. To have Faith and to Love. To be honest and good. I was taught this at a young age and yet still, these lessons are learned and built upon everyday. We are given a FOUNDATION. Whether it is because we have been deprived of essential needs or given everything we could desire, FAMILY is what makes us. This weekend has brought further pride in my Love for my family. They are brilliant stars within my universe. They were my FRIENDS before I even knew the meaning of what a real friend was. They are the prototypes of all friends I’ve acquired and kept throughout my life. They keep me grounded.

It was simpler back then. Now we are all grown, some with kids and married. But now, we are able to further understand the Love we have for one another. Yes, we’re connected through Facebook and we can call each other on the phone, but nothing is like sitting down and talking face to face about what we’ve been through, what we’re going through and what we see further in our path.

Our childhood is not a discovery. While going after our dream and maintaining stability within ourselves in everyday life, we forget and remember while building and meeting new people. The memories and lessons learned when we are young and impressionable are gems that illuminate our current vision of the type of mother/ father/ friend/ lover we will be. It is the foundation to all things that is and will be. And sometimes we must revisit these times and these bonds to strengthen and marvel at what has been built.

Faith

liberteeloveLeave a comment

It is said that as humans, we are negative by nature. I only just realized I was not as positive of a person as I thought I was because nine out of ten times you will see me with a smile on my face, and nine out of ten times I will be the one to encourage you in whatever endeavour you are pursuing. But when it came to my own pursuits, I used to worry about what the outcome would be and would think of this as being “realistic,” because I would think of all of the outcomes of a situation, good and bad. I didn’t realize that this didn’t allow me to set higher goals, and that this was in fact subconsciously deterring me from whole-heartedly pursuing anything. Every test, every event of significance, every relationship, would be analyzed to the point of stress. And if I actually set a goal, I would stress about when I would get what it is I was trying to achieve. Depending in my emotional investment in the event, I would sometimes even lose sleep over it.

Obviously, that is no way to live. So, I’ve been building on my positive outlook. This has not been easy, as I do live in the land of cynics. I was even proud of being a cynic. And not to further enforce the stereotype of the “typical New Yorker,” but I LOVE cynicism! But in building, I’ve realized that there is a thin line between cynicism and negativity. Some may even say there are no differences between the two. So I teeter with my love of this type of comedy and climbing out of the abyss of a negative mind.

Everyday I interact with people who complain and worry about EVERYTHING and ANYTHING. This environment makes it difficult to keep a complete positive outlook. So many people walk around jaded by their own experience, whether it be envy, resentment, anger, selfishness, mistrust, etc. It’s with this knowledge and forcing myself to be conscious of how I approach certain situations that I have recently gotten to a place where I felt as though I didn’t feel a thing. Worry wasn’t my underlying feeling from day-to-day. I felt that anything that I wanted would come to fruition. And it was in this feeling of certainty that I truly understood what having Faith was. I used to think that Faith was just a mindset, but it is actually a state of being within your mind, heart and soul. And the soul is at a place where, if it’s grounded enough in Faith, it cannot be shaken by any negativity. I have gotten to a point where I truly believe that I will not only attain all that I need, but all that it is I want. And it is with this state of being that I move forward.

There are of course other things that I’ve been working on achieving with this new mindset, but continuing with unwavering Faith and the determination to spreading positivity and Love is the highest goal. This is the underlying current. This is the starting point.

Give Love

liberteelove1 Comment

You’ve heard the phrase: What doesn’t kill you make you stronger! But I think many people interpret the phrase: “What doesn’t kill you makes you harder.”  We tend to allow circumstances to change us for the worse and make us bitter instead of giving insight to our own minds and hearts.  Because every situation, whether good or bad, allows us not only to see how people within the world moves, but also allows us to see ourselves clearer and allows us to become better.

This is why I decided on the name “LiberTeeLove.” It is exactly what it sounds like.  I recognized around the time I wrote the song below, that I withheld Love.  I feared Love and decided on “LiberTeeLove” to remind myself to be more open to life.  As I get older I realize there is no merit in withholding Love and positivity.  One of our greatest achievements is our vast capability to Love.  Love is the inspirer of all things and I want to inspire goodness.  I want to be inspired by goodness.  I know people who believe that there isn’t much goodness within the world.  But regardless of the Love that another withholds or the Love I show, I will always be me.  Nothing will change that.  My mother said that I will always find my self in positions where I am not fully appreciated because of this.  She is right.  I am a bit naive in that sense and I’ve been disappointed many times, but I cannot be any other way.  I will always show Love regardless of disappointment within a situation.   And as I’ve gotten older, I’ve come to a sort of peace with that knowledge.

Not everyone thinks in the way I do.  Not everyone Loves the way I do.  Some may think of me as stupid for this.  But to Love is to believe in the Truth of my own makeup.  Through Love I thrive.  I recently told a close friend of mine that it’s a gift and a curse.  His response: “I think it’s more of a gift.”  (LOVE HIM!)  With that phrase he confirmed my belief that the way I Love is where a big portion of my beauty comes from.  He sees that.  And it’s those relationships and moments that inspire me to continue loving and expressing how I feel to those I Love.

With all of that said, I am guilty of hurting and I am guilty of not fully appreciating the Love someone had to give because of my own fear.  But experience has expanded my mind and view.  I am not perfect.  I am human.  It’s easy to get drawn back into a fearful way of thinking and being, which is a big reason why I post.  Not only do I want to inspire others to look into their own hearts and minds, but I also need to remind myself of why I’m here.  “LOVE INSPIRES ALL THINGS, SO INSPIRE LOVE.”  So, I will express what it is I feel until I feel another way.  My heart is big and bold and resilient.  Because even in the face of doubt and pain one should choose to Give Love and acknowledge Love in any way one can.

I really hope you enjoy the song and hope that it inspires you to BE POSITIVE even when you’ve been hurt.  I can’t believe it’s been five years since I wrote it, but I think the words are still powerful and will resonate with some.  Express positivity instead of bitterness.  Love wholly.

Thanks again for all of your support!

Give Love

You did what you could to make me fall
And you did what you could to make me not care at all
But although I was easily deceived
Your lies will not make me cease to believe
That all people aren’t dirty
True no one is clean
And though you hurt my faith in humanity
I will not rip off my sleeves
I will give love
I will give love
Cause my heart was made to last
My heart can never forget the past
‘Cause I grow stronger with all that I achieve
So in spite of you I will not rip off my sleeves
I must admit for a while I was broken
Wondering if there was any point in hoping
And though sometimes I do recede
I know life happens to everyone and so I believe
I will give love
I will give love
You did shake me
But you won’t break me
‘Cause my heart was made to last
And so what my heart can never forget the past
‘Cause I grow stronger with all that I achieve
So in spite of you I will not rip off my sleeves
I will give love
I will give love
I will give love
I will give love
You did shake me
But you won’t no you can’t break me

Spring Forward

liberteelove1 Comment

It’s been a couple weeks since we’ve “sprung forward,” and though the cold is still nipping at our heels, Spring is here and we are slowly feeling her presence in New York City.  The sun is still shining when I leave work in the evening and when I wake up in the morning the birds are still chirping, regardless of the 25 degree weather and the snow on the grown.  And though it may sounds cheesy, I can’t help but compare this change of season to my current spiritual growth and consciousness.

As a lot of you may know, I’ve been working on changing the way I think.  I used to think of myself as a positive person, but I would worry about the outcome of everything, thinking of the good and bad outcomes.  I thought of that as being practical and realistic because…life happens!  But in thinking this way, I never realized that I was actually reinforcing any negative outcome by simply putting thought into it.  And though I didn’t outright tell myself that I couldn’t do something, I’m sure that subconsciously I discouraged myself from taking risks and working whole-heartedly towards any dream I had ever conjured.   Now I emphasize on the positivity within any situation.  In keeping my thoughts positive, dreams that were once unreachable are now acquirable goals and aspirations.

Now with my focus on thinking positive I’ve also been more conscious of the energy around me.  I try my best to encourage those around me to focus on the positivity of the moment and even more so, to not dwell on negativity.  It’s so easy to get caught up on the hectic morning commute or on how far away you are from a goal that we forget to be thankful that we made it safely to our destination, or how far we’ve come on our path towards our goal.

Life moves in seasons and we have to go through the cold of winter to get to the buds of spring.  We go through droughts and floods, from cold and stagnant moments to times where things are so “hot” we forget to see our blessings in the grind.  Take a moment everyday to think of all of the blessings you received the previously.  Be conscious of the fact that even though you’re still working towards a dream, you’re so much further than you were.  Be thankful for your talents and ambition!  Encourage those around you to be positive and for those who are hell-bent on being caught up in negativity, I say “SPRING CLEANING!”

The energy that surrounds you is where you will dwell.  If you find that there are people in your life who do nothing for your spirit, mind or heart, there is no need to make a point to spend your energy on them.  The energy of the people you spend the most time with and those who you speak with on a regular basis are who you are and it is critical to your life’s path.  Decide where you want to be and SPRING FORWARD into creating that world for yourself!

In trying to be consistent with this blog, I grow weary of redundancy.  But I can’t help but dwell with my furthering consciousness of the energy within and without.   At times we lose sight of who finds their way in our circle especially with social networking.  But this also allows me to observe that even the most successful and seemingly confident people are drawn into negative ways of thinking and boost themselves up by putting others down.  The grass is always greener on the other side, but it probably isn’t easy even when you’re on top.  But in your journey, don’t forget where you where you’ve been.  As your life blossoms, give life to all of those around you.  Being consistently positive–that’s as forward-thinking as one can get.  Be the inspiration and motivation.

Perception

liberteelove2 Comments

I’ve always been fascinated with this concept. (You probably realized this from the title of this blog). There is the saying that there are always three sides to a story; side A, side B and the Truth. But perception stretches far, wide and deep. With ongoing self-discovery my own view of myself changes. It is the most important feeling or thought that one can have. How do you view yorself? Once you discover this you will then have to decide how you will make your mark in the world…if any.

My father is half black, half Chinese. My mother is a mixture of Dutch, Black, “Amerindian,” and who knows what else. My hair is natural. I have pigment to my skin. I am woman. The world views me as a black woman. I will always be who I am in essense, regardless of how I am viewed by someone else. I will be who I am regardless of how I am viewed by myself (which is all that ultimately matters in my world, being a Leo..so they say). My life and my life’s view is my own.

I think I’m slowly but surely internalizing that concept.  My words, my thoughts, my feelings are all my own, and are all under my control. My world is created by my perception of the world around me and my perception of my place in the world. But with that said, and although I’ve always been fascinated by the concept of perception, it was with recent conversations with a few friends of many years that I realized that even in my closest relationships and my daily routine, perception plays such a big role because of the perception of each interaction. I guess this is why so many people are concerned with their image; and I wonder if I have been hurting myself by putting less emphasis on how I am viewed by others and more in how I’m viewed by myself. Now, don’t let this statement confuse you in thinking I am not concerned about the views of others. I am! But in my daily interactions I am more concerned with the moment and not what I want the moment to be or mean, so I tend to miss how the other person may interpret the moment, in the moment.  I guess you can say I can’t see the forest for the trees.

With all of this said, my perception is ever-changing and I think for the better. I am starting to put more emphasis on thinking that things will work out for the best and that I am what I think.  I’m working on being more conscious and more hopeful that what I interpret the moment to mean is equally felt and thought by all participants.  Especially since my world is a manifestation of what my mind produces and I am doing my best to think in Love and think Positive.  I’m working on focusing on the energy that surrounds me because although I have my own mind and my own thoughts, what I surround myself with is what I will become.  I’m working on emitting positivity in everyday life, because we do not live in a perfect world.  So whatever I put into the world matters (with all of the negative we are being fed by media, subliminally and overtly).  I do this because I hope that my perception will have an affect on the universe in some way.  Positivity and Love;  that is all I want to create.

Compromise: The Unequal 50/50

liberteeloveLeave a comment

A quick online look-up of the word “compromise” states:

  • to bind by bargain or agreement.
  • to bring to terms.
  • a settlement of differences by mutual concessions; an agreement reached by adjustment of conflicting or opposing claims, principles, etc., by reciprocal modification of demands.
  • something intermediate between different things

When I was younger I thought that a compromise was when two people “met in the middle” and there was a clear 50/50 draw in a situation. But I’ve come to realize that isn’t always the case.  In every relationship there is compromise, but in any given situation throughout the relationship one person may give more than the other.

My mother said “the woman is always the one to give and sacrifice more in any relationship.” Of course, this is difficult for me to accept. Though my mother and I are extremely close, we don’t always agree. I had to get second and third opinions, male and female. Unfortunately, the second and third agreed with mom. Apparently, we women have to compromise for the sake of our man’s ego, as it’s natural for the man to be the alpha in the relationship, aka the head of the house. But when is it too much? I love to give and nurture, but I never want to feel like I’m the only one tending to the garden. How much do you give before you feel as though instead, you’re compromising yourself within the relationship?

I have yet to accept that I will have to give and compromise more than my partner because of the “nature of things.” I will keep hope alive, because I never want to feel as though everything is a sacrifice “in the name of love.” Granted, the give and take are all about the perception of each person. Each person weighs their own contribution and what they get from the relationship differently. A relationship might work because one person thrives by giving while their partner accepts willingly (not everyone is comfortable with always accepting).

Compromise is about finding that balance between two people who make a relationship work. My vision of a relationship is one where I feel as though I’m getting as much as I’m giving. I may even go far enough to say, my vision of a relationship is one where I never feel as though I can give enough because of all that I gain from it on any given level.

The real questions is: How much can/will you give to make it work?

On that note…enjoy Teddy P. What can I say, I’m a romantic. 🙂