Dependency – The Scary yet Relieving Truth to Love

Within every close relationship there is a dependency on the other person. This is especially within a romantic relationship because you tell yourself that you are going to intertwine parts of your life with another. Regardless of how independent your are, you invest yourself by sharing your brightest dreams and darkest fears. It takes dedication and Trust. It takes two people being fully honest with their hopes and dreams as well as their fears, abilities and shortcomings. Ideally, I’d want someone who wants as much as I do, loves as hard as I do, dreams as much as I do, gives as much as I do and is honest. Someone who makes being with them effortless because his character and love will uplift me in my efforts to love him with inspired passion for life and love.

But it is hard finding those who are willing to face their fears in Love and is able to give the devotion I believe a romantic love requires. This is the greatest challenge, the crux. I still have an idealistic view, which I realize is harder to uphold regardless of my own beliefs. But though my vision has changed, it’s changed for the better. I no longer see things in black and white, but I see color in bright hues and pale pallets. I still believe in finding one who supports me through my greatest challenges, whether internal or external. Because that is the best part of Love. It’s having someone who will Love you through your worst and cheer you on through your best. It’s the one who sees your potential and judges your character through your effort to be better and not your flaws. And it is the one who will inspire you to Love harder and deeper and reach further within yourself to be the person you work to be.

Love inspires all things, so inspire love. © ♥ 😍

Forgive

Cliche, I know. But with the “whole new year, new me” slogan that goes around about this time, I thought forgiveness was a proper topic to speak on. They say that when you forgive you free yourself from the poisionous burden of hate, resentment, anger… etc. So the new year is one of the best times to take all the baggage you’ve accumulated and start 2014 off “light.”

Now, when I talk about forgiveness, I’m not just talking about forgiving your parents or your boyfriend/girlfriend. I’m also talking about forgiving yourself. We don’t always achieve our given goal on the first, second or third try. We don’t always stay focused on every single goal we’ve set your sights on. And we are often harder on ourselves than others. We are more willing and quicker to give others another chance than we are for ourselves. It may just be because we tend to pay more attention to what others have intentionally/unintentionally done to us than what we do to ourselves unintentionally. It’s more tangible in a way. But when we let ourselves down we must be conscious and not lose hope or Faith in our potential for growth and greatness. We are so flawed in our humanity in many aspects, but in others we are magnificent creators. I’ve always said (since this year), Love inspires all things, so inspire Love.© So keep Faith in Love.

Now, I say not to lose Faith, but who am I kidding? This is the goal, but sometimes we do. So what must we do when we feel as though we’ve lost Faith in ourself and/or progression? Restore Faith! If you have let yourself down, do something to lift your spirits. Acheive something! Prove to yourself that you can still accomplish so much. If you’ve let someone else down, preform a grand gesture to initiate Faith and let that person know that he/she can still count on you. Reliability is a cornerstone of any of relationship so to forgive yourself/another and to be forgiven is no easy feat. But one can with hard work, time and an open heart and mind. And what better way to face 2014 than with an open heart and mind?

Blessings everyone. Be safe.

And remember… Love inspires all things, so inspire Love.© ♥

Know Thyself

A million apologies to those loyal who read “Words and Perceptions…” and have been waiting for another post. To say the least, this past month has been a wonderfully surprising and filled with all the lovely things that life has to offer. A CHANGE HAS COME! And I give full credit to the power of positivity. Through reflection and pushing past fears to achieve goals set forth, I was able to take steps upward and outward. Though there is still much to do, by acknowledging my power, I was able to move forward towards goals that I set months ago.

So many of us move through life not truly knowing or understanding the power we have within us to achieve tremendous goals and live the life we want. We struggle, but many of us give up before the breakthrough. So we continue living life in a stagnant phase. The greatest thing I could had done for myself was analyzing my past and identifying my strengths, weaknesses and fears. I even went as far as identifying where some of these fears stemmed from. By doing this I was able to convince myself to move forward towards completing what I wanted to achieve, with what I knew about myself. I continually told myself that anything is possible to work through/ to, once I’m 100% honest with my limitations at that specific time. Through being honest with myself, I was able to work past those limitations.

You can be ever-evolving, if you want to be. And it is only through knowing who you are and what you want to be that you can achieve things you probably didn’t think you could a year ago, a month ago or a week ago. You must not listen to naysayers, even if one of those naysayers is you. Know thyself. Know if you are the thing that’s holding you back from being great. Know if you’re the reason you have yet to find true love. Know if you’re the reason you have not been able to make a positive impact in the world.
Knowledge is power. Knowledge of self is the key to vision! Open your eyes and mind to the universe!

“…know thyself … and thou shalt know the gods.”

Reflection

I am blessed.

I did not need to reflect to come to this conclusion. This is something I’ve always known. But over time, I’ve realized that reflection is needed to grow and appreciate those blessings on another level. Reflection is needed for me to understand myself and become better. These posts have been a way for me to reflect and decide what it is that I really want out of life. Through this consideration, I was able to build a perspective and an energy that has brought wonderful experiences and people into my life and immediate circle. Sometimes it was not easy to look back on my wrongdoings or own-up to my flaws, but I am ever grateful for the strength and love that is within and that has surrounded me. And hope that my gratitude continues to be received well by the universe.

Many times we go through experiences, get hurt and are ready to point the finger. What did the other person do to make the situation end-up the way it did? How did the other person hurt me? Why am I right, and why is the other person wrong? Life is full experiences and lessons. We often look at all of the things we gave, but we must also look at all the things we didn’t give. This is not to put ourselves down, but to look at the entire situation; to see our strengths and weaknesses. Most times we forget to do that. At the end of this reflection, we are able to ask the question “was I fair” and “how can I be better?” Yes, we are able to decide how we will allow others to treat us and learn of traits that we consider undesirable, by solely focusing at the flaws of the other person. But this not all that is needed to grow towards one’s full potential. This alone, creates boundaries. And we must strive to make our world and perspective bigger, not smaller.

It is said that like attracts like. It is said that everything happens for a reason. When you relfect, you are able to see parts of yourself in those people who hurt you. With that said, there is a reason why that person was in your life then and is no longer. There is a reason you went through that experience. Reflect, think of why. And don’t do it with an ounce of pity for yourself in your heart. Look at it with the goal and mindset of “how can this make me better?” Were you shown a part of yourself that you didn’t like? Were you challenged beyond where you are willing to go? People are in our lives because we put them there. Think of why you put this person there. Think of why they are no longer there. Your world is yours alone. Face the challenges head-on. Be better.

I still stumble on my path. But I find comfort in knowing that it is natural and that I am putting my best foot forward in practicing my new life philosophies and in working towards long-term goals. Reflection allows me to see where I’ve made mistakes. I reflect to gain perspective. Reflection allows me to give thanks for all that I have and all that I’ve gained in strength and wisdom. And I continue learning which allows me to take bolder steps and larger leaps of Faith.

It’s all about growth and betterment. Reflect.

Motivation

On Saturday I went to fitness conference at the Jacob Javits Center. I’m still a bit sore, but it’s good pain. I’m thankful for that. But what I also enjoyed was the lecture that was given on motivation. “How do I get motivated to workout?” This was the question asked, and since I have been pretty consistent and work out on a regular basis as of late, I felt as though I shouldn’t stay and listen. But I stayed…a break in between classes. And the conversation turned into more than, what motivates you to workout. It turned into what motivates you in life. And I enjoyed it thoroughly because it echoed feelings and thoughts I’ve been having and further confirmed that I’m on the right track toward my goals. It inspired me.

Positivity is my lover and I do my best to be ever faithful. Being positive is key to all goals and all upward movement. And it is this frame of mind that draws motivated, inspirational people in my life. I remind myself why my view of life has lifted higher (goals, vision) and how I increased the power within myself. These points are key. You’re level in life is only as high as your vision. And with this vision, I know that all that I want will be acheived with Faith, consistent hard work and PATIENCE (god knows I’m still building on the latter).

So I stay grounded in a renewed and intensified (to an exponential power) love for myself, a love for my life and the people in it, an enthusiastic appreciation for all things good and in a knowing that no other power is greater than my own in my world, because I set the pace.

I SET THE FREQUENCY.

Something that was said in the lecture that relates to all things is, “where you are is where you’re supposed to be, because it is the sum result to all that you’ve done and all that has happened to you, to this point.” This concept was related to health so diet and exercise were the main variables. But this also relates to life. Is your life in tip top shape. Is it the vision you have for yourself? If so, keep doing what you are doing. If not, you can change that. Again, this will take patience, hard work and Faith in yourself to motivate towards your goal and to stay motivated. Whatever you want can be done. You can find a way. You can get there!

Life: Conceptualized, Visualized, Materialized

Anyone who has been reading can say I’ve been documenting my transformation. This isn’t a physical transformation. It is all mental which makes it pretty abstract. Some of it does show in the way I eat and my efforts to stay consistent with working out (I see the muscles forming), a lot of what I have spoken has yet to put to the test. My view on Life and Love has changed tremendously and today I asked myself, if faced with the emotion of Love or faced with an opportunity to make significant headway on the things I’ve been working on, will I have the courage to take that chance?  Will I still have Faith once Love is staring me in the face, telling me to be vulnerable? Will I have the mind to take my talents to the next level when the opportunity arises? Because that will be the test that shows if I have truly evolved.

Throughout the reemergence of the blog, I’ve conceptualized life with my views on how Life and Love should be approached. And with that, I have realized that truly living takes courage. It’s facing fears. It’s being open. It’s taking chances. It’s trusting something other than yourself. It’s trusting yourself. These can be difficult tasks because of past experiences, past pains, your view on society through the view of society itself, or maybe you were just raised to live cautiously. But once you decide that what you want is more powerful than your fear of the journey to obtain it and see yourself only within that realm of power, you’re living on your own terms and you are able to turn your dreams or goals for your future, into the reality of your present moment.

Again, I come back to consciousness and living in the present.  It comes down to deciding what you want and working on achieving it, daily.  In the most basic analogy: to be fit one must workout and eat well regularly.   There may be cravings for chocolate cake and French fries, but that doesn’t serve the goal towards fitness. Be present in the moment but be conscious of how your decisions affect your progress.

I know I will be faced with the opportunity to attain everything I want.  At that moment I must remember my goal to stay consistent in my vision of Love and I must face the fear of being great and continue to move forward and upward with my goals. I must be patient and never doubt my ability to take on any challenges, whether internally or externally.  I must never lose perspective. I must gain perspecitive.  Everything is a lesson and everyday is a blessing.   And with it comes better knowledge of my own heart and mind and unshakeable Faith and strength.

“Wherever your heart is, that is where you’ll find your treasure.” 

Follow your heart and do not be turned away by fear. The benefits are massive!

You keep telling me that what I want is too big
You keep telling me that the words won’t come
There’s a stifling grip around my spirit, but still I fix my gaze
It doesn’t matter where I stand at this very moment or what I currently hold in my hand
My mind’s eye is set on site
And my heart’s open
There’s so much that I want
And it is only now that I have the courage to admit it
So I’m learning how to give to receive
I’m learning how to whole-heartedly believe, though things come slowly
Conscious of my hold, so as not to slip with my passionate grip
Because overbearing strength is not always the way
Feminine finesse and faithful patience are still acquiring traits
But as long as my hands can write
And as long and my heart can feel
I will write of love and dreams beyond loss
And I will write life and love into my dreams
Goals set forth, bearings implanted in my character and creativity
Reminding myself to no longer take for granted the queen in me
Still molding myself and my mind
So much more revealed in my constant kneading
And I am better than before
I am smarter than before
I love better than before
And all that I am is the foundation to all that will be

Don’t Worry. Be Happy.

It seems simple enough, but there are times when happiness is taken from you. Maybe purposefully or maybe by no one’s fault, directly. But once you go through emotional distress you almost feel as though you will not be able to recover the happiness you lost. You try to protect yourself from ever feeling that sort of pain again. But once you do this, you actually prolong the hurt and end up hurting yourself in other ways. If you do not confront the pain or the loss you cannot release it, and you give it more power over your present. You give it power over your future. You give it power over your mind, heart and soul.

I speak as if releasing pain is as easy as 1, 2, 3. I know it is not. It takes time. Some quicker than others, thankfully. Because I am not the most patient woman. But sometimes it takes LOTS of time. I get through it by understanding that the heart does what it does. It cannot be turned off with a switch. The release of a feeling takes time. But what we must do is be sure we keep our mind present. If we dwell on the past or the loss, the hurt is given more power than all of good we presently have in our lives. Boundaries are built stronger and makes it harder for the good to re-enter our hearts and lives. On some days it will be so much harder to push through and we will feel as though we should revert to fear. But we have to keep reminding ourselves that “this too shall pass” and what we want (happiness) will prevail in our lives.

I’ve only JUST realized this and made the decision to refuse to let anything hold me in that negative space for long.  I do not deny my humanity. I feel pain. But it was through facing this pain and working to conquer it with Love, that I learned invaluable lessons. Patience. Faith. Positivity. Most of all, I’ve learned that Love is the core of all things good. So I do my best to infuse Love into everything I do. I’m sure I’ve failed more times than I have succeeded by getting angry, stressed, annoyed and many other negative feelings. But I will not give up on Love. It is the inspirer of all things good.

My trick is an oldie but goodie. Work on building your mind one day at a time. Your mind is the more powerful that you probably allow it to be. But once you change your thoughts, you can change how you feel. You will end up changing the way you do things day to day.

So, be conscious. Find something that you love and do it. Set a goal. Find new things to learn and get into. Workout. Write about what you feel. Sing. Create. Go to the park. Appreciate the little things. Write down what you are grateful for everyday. Read.

Sometimes regaining happiness takes a lot of work. But in time, you’ll get it back, and you’ll be that much stronger for it.

My Favorite F Words

Sometimes the best lessons are not profound. What is real doesn’t always have to be “discovered.” Many times, what is most real is the constant within our lives. It is the seed planted within a child and the vine of knowledge that is nurtured in his/her growth. It is the subconscious.

Over the weekend I was able to spend time with family members I hadn’t seen in years. But even though it had been so long, the bond is still strong. In speaking with them, I further strengthened revelations I’ve had recently and have come to realize that all the things that seem new to me are things that I’ve been instilled with. To be independent and strong. To have Faith and to Love. To be honest and good. I was taught this at a young age and yet still, these lessons are learned and built upon everyday. We are given a FOUNDATION. Whether it is because we have been deprived of essential needs or given everything we could desire, FAMILY is what makes us. This weekend has brought further pride in my Love for my family. They are brilliant stars within my universe. They were my FRIENDS before I even knew the meaning of what a real friend was. They are the prototypes of all friends I’ve acquired and kept throughout my life. They keep me grounded.

It was simpler back then. Now we are all grown, some with kids and married. But now, we are able to further understand the Love we have for one another. Yes, we’re connected through Facebook and we can call each other on the phone, but nothing is like sitting down and talking face to face about what we’ve been through, what we’re going through and what we see further in our path.

Our childhood is not a discovery. While going after our dream and maintaining stability within ourselves in everyday life, we forget and remember while building and meeting new people. The memories and lessons learned when we are young and impressionable are gems that illuminate our current vision of the type of mother/ father/ friend/ lover we will be. It is the foundation to all things that is and will be. And sometimes we must revisit these times and these bonds to strengthen and marvel at what has been built.

Evolution!

I fully believe that keeping a positive outlook will help manifest positivity within your life. But things change in our life situations daily that are not under our control (especially due to the variable of other people). I used to shun change because of the feeling of powerlessness to change.  But I realize that I must embrace change to get where I’m trying to go. Logically, if I want to go anywhere there must be change. So I’ve come to terms with its inevitablity and realized that with the goals I’ve set, how I deal with change is what will reveal my true character and it’s strength, which will ultimately determine my success.

A recent conversation with a friend brought about thoughts on value of self, the value of our work and the opportunities we are given to grow. With trying to attain something he’s wanted for such a long time, he faced an opportunity to “get his foot in the door.” It was a starting point to work in his field, within a different industry. However, the terms that were given for his contract made him question as to whether taking this opportunity was bending to the point where he was devaluing his work and how far he has come and grown with his talent. This was another lesson on change for me.

We have to constantly be aware of how far we have come and of our current situation in order to further our vision and path.  Though situations and relationships, just as we tend to change over time, it is very important that we always choose to EVOLVE.  To evolve is to change for the better.  It is to grow more powerful in our own right with experience and time, along with consistent, conscious, positive thought. Yes, we me must adjust and bend at times to attain what it is we want, but we must always be forward-thinking. We must evolve and build upon that knowledge of how we’ve evolved within change. We must be conscious of how far we bend and compromise so as not to break or destroy any part of the foundation we have already built. We must remember that our self-image, self-worth and values are our foundation. And that though change is inevitable, we can only evolve if we make a conscious decision as to how we change. We must build on the groundwork we’ve planted all our lives. If today is the first day you lay a brick, it’s a starting point. Move forward from here. Evolve.