Category: Positivity

Vision

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Do you ever sit and think about your life? If so, what do you see? Do you think about current circumstances, past endeavors, or future happenings? What do you think of more? What is in your daily conversation with others? What’s you’re daily conversation with yourself? What is in your current line of vision?

I recently had a conversation with an old friend, and I came across a thought that a certain part my life has not developed to its best potential because I never envisioned myself at the “top” position. Other parts of my life have taken precedent in my daily thoughts, and I haven’t actually envisioned where I want to be or how I want to feel in this certain area of my life. With every other area, I thought of where I want to be and made plans to get there, whether the plans were executed to success or failure. So how can I expect an end result in this certain area that I give no thought to?

A great part of me that is romantic and believes that whatever is for me will come across my path at some point. And I do believe that all choices and circumstances have built my current perception (optimistic yet practical). But the logical part of me understands that all worthwhile achievements take planning and time to accomplish. If I have not envisioned myself in this position, I will not be able to even see when this opportunity crosses my path, much less take on the responsibility that comes with it (or the power and know how to hold onto it).

Life is about vision, followed by actionable steps. So I have started envisioning what it would feel like to be in this position. I think of ways to prepare being in this position. We often think of the benefits and don’t think of the sacrifice. My vision includes all of the above.

So envision what it is you want and how it would feel to achieve it. If it’s a position at work, what would that position’s workload entail? Build yourself to the point of knowledge and confidence, so that when you are given the opportunity, you will be able to take it on. Your vision is your own. Take sight, and execute.

Authenticity

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“And you know the truth by the way it feels.” – India Arie

It is easier to walk a road that’s paved. It’s easier to decide on what you want when someone tells you it’s what’s best. It’s easier to adhere to what the world tells you you are, or should be, because it’s less scary. It’s safe. But at what point does keeping it safe prevent you from “keeping it real.”

The most profound thing we can do in our lives, is to be honest with ourselves. This is why people mediate. This is why people pray. It allows reflection to see those parts that are damaged, broken, bruised and healing, and gives insight to the lives we have lived and the lives we wish to live. When we are willing to look at the parts of ourselves that aren’t what we want them to be, we are able to make the choice to accept and love those parts, or to change them/our perception of them. With that same insight, we are also about to see those parts that we love about ourselves, and praise them unapologetically. Only then can we truly be authentic in this world. We are not all successes, or all failures. We are made up of a plethora of life experiences that help mold us.

We all have shit that we’ve been raised with and in. We all have shit that we’ve put up with and have been been put through. We all have shit that we have to let go of and shit that we wish to change. We all have shit that we have to accept in order to move forward. But how often do take the time to look at yourself and truly assess who you are in your day to day life, to who you want to be when you lay your head down at night? This has nothing to do with the image in the mirror, or the parts that we can pretty up in front of a total stranger. Neither does this have anything to do with how the people who raised you, view you, or what your friends and associates think of you. Yes, these are important, as we are social beings. But there is a line to be drawn, as there are so many things outside of ourselves that can distort our perception of ourselves, and our lives, if we let it. Knowing who you are, and what your core beliefs are, makes it possible to draw that line clearly.

I find that one of the things that makes this possible, is learning how to differentiate and originate fleeting moments of passion, rage, hurt, pride, fear. In understanding yourself and where these feelings come from, you are able to get down to the real truth of it. And yes I said real truth because, there are levels to this. There are levels to your being. You are a being made of mental, spiritual, physical, and emotional influences. Some people are ruled more by one than the other. It is up to you to get to know yourself well enough to acknowledge which attributes you are more drawn to, so that you may find balance. First step in authenticity is getting real WITH YOURSELF.

I haven’t always been grounded, and I probably won’t be every single day for the rest of my life, but I progress. I know that I am not the same person I was a year or two years ago, and I am accepting of the challenges I face. I accept my truth. By facing myself every day and by doing my best to stay grounded, I am getting to know myself better. I am getting to understand myself better. I am getting to trust myself more. I always do my best to be honest and straightforward in my day to day life and I do my best to stay true to my core beliefs. With them in place, I know I live my day to day with authenticity.

What do you need in order to live within the realms of your authenticity?

authentic

1a : worthy of acceptance or belief as conforming to or based on fact

b : conforming to an original so as to reproduce essential features

c : made or done the same way as an original

2: not false or imitation : real, actual

3: true to one’s own personality, spirit, or character

definition acquired from www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/authentic

Accountability

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Life is a process that includes failing over and over again for the sake of learning how to live the best life we can. It is imagined that each of these choices lead us to a life that we intend. So ask yourself three questions:

  • At this point, am I living the life I intended?
  • Am I on the road to the life I envision for myself?
  • How much have I held myself accountable for the choices I have made in relation to the outcome of my life at this point?

This idea of accountability has been on my mind as of late. Honestly, I wrongly held it in judgment of another. Once I put into perspective that this person’s choices are personal and should only be judged by this person, and can only be changed by this person, I directed this critical lens to myself. I asked myself those same questions and came to the conclusion that I am too often careless with my thoughts, too often careless in my words, and too often careless in my actions. I need to be more intentional in my every day life.

I came to this conclusion with full understanding of how blessed I am and have been. Many tangible blessings came over the past few years, with conscious thought and direction of spirit and action. Others came by seeming happenstance. And I say seeming, because I believe that we all manifest things, people, and circumstances into our lives. Even if we are not conscious of how we called them into our lives, they are put here to teach us about ourselves in relation to the world and to expose us to the world as a whole. It is our job to learn and apply as necessary.

So, how do you view life? Your vision, your ethics, your ambition, etc., are all tools you develop and strengthen throughout life. Do you let things, people and circumstances sharpen those tools to or do you shift your direction and let them control your actions negatively?

We are all blessed with talents and many of us acquire special skills. To acquire our goals, we must direct these talents and acquired knowledge to make choices that positively influence us and those around us in a positive way. When we hold ourselves accountable for our lives and choices, we are able to make the necessary changes to our thoughts and outer worlds to better fit our vision.

Accountability starts with the way we see our lives, continues with how much we believe we have an influence over our lives, and ends with the actions we take within our lives. Make each thought, feeling and action count.

ac·count·a·bil·i·ty
əˌkoun(t)əˈbilədē/

noun

:the quality or state of being accountable; especially :an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one’s actions
Definition acquired by https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/accountability

I wrote a poem yesterday (11/11/2017), inspired by this topic, and it is featured on the “Poetry” page (link above).

Expect more poetry in the future, but if you want to read new poetry daily, follow me on any one of my social media pages.

Patience

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“Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.” -Aristotle

I chose to write on this topic because of the way certain intense failures and progresses have converged at this time of my life. My posts in the past few weeks have touched on failing and continuing to work on those goals. I spoke about having the courage to get back up after those failures. But what is also key, is having the patience and mind-set to do so. Patience has never been a strength of mine. I don’t believe I ever thought I could ever gain patience because I only do things when I am ready to take on the challenge. So when I am ready, I want what I want, when I want it, which means right away. I know that’s not the way things work; I think I’ve always known that, but I was never able to take a look at the bigger picture. But with maturity, I am starting to realize that just as I cannot be rushed, no process can be rushed. Things happen in their due time and I believe it’s life’s lessons that have matured me in this sense. Little by little, in understanding that cliche, “patience is a virtue,” I hope that my character is strengthened and deepened; because even with continued understanding of Faith, learning how to be patient has been a painstaking lesson to learn.

As stated in previous posts (I hope you read them), I have tried and failed with a few goals. But with others, I now see their progress and imminent fruition. When I set these goals I knew that they would take time, but I did not know how long they would take to complete. It has taken over a year just for me to just to see progress. There were times of frustration, but in seeing that my persistence has paid off, I realize now, how important it is to never give up or force-ripen a fruit, a goal. With the honest labor of love for a given desire, all things will be. And even with the failed attempts, I know that I have to continue being patient with achieving them, simply because I still want these things. I know it’s cheesy, but to me, attempting and failing is life speaking to me. It’s another life lesson on patience. I believe I can have anything I want and work for. So I still work on achieving these goals. I will not give up, regardless of how many times I stumble or fail.

Another benefit through having patience and Faith, is that I am able to fully appreciate other progresses made. It makes me realize that life is a journey and though at times I am disappointed or frustrated by a temporary failure, I am restored to a heart full of appreciation and I take what good I can from it. And in being more patient with the situation, I am more patient with myself. I am able to be more appreciative of myself and my gifts, and realize that I cannot force any given situation or my growth. After those moments of anger, frustration, disappointment and sadness I realize that all those feelings do is blur my vision to my current goals and my current blessings; all I see in those moments are failure, and pain in disappointment. If I apply for a job, enter a contest or try to lose a certain amount of pounds, even if I do not accomplish what it is I want when I want it, I will always get what it is I need to get what I ultimately want in due time.

With time, my goals may change as I change, but in being patient I find I am more clear in mind. I am not frustrated with forcing any given result to happen right away. So lately I’ve just been more conscious of waking-up outwardly grateful for the progress I have made. I am more conscious of being grateful for my number one inspiration, LOVE. I work to keep my goals in focus everyday. And for that I feel wiser; I feel stronger; I feel empowered and more ready to try again at those things I didn’t yet accomplish. And I’ve been more content and happier for it. I never really say exactly what my goals are, but I aim to sustain this mind-set; because perpetual happiness is an ultimate goal.

Courage

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As stated many times before, there are many things that I want to accomplish. I actually just finished a in-depth conversation with a very close friend about one of these goals and the effort I have been putting in. In turn, I also stated that so many people I know don’t seem to put effort into anything and seem to be getting by. “It’s not fair” came out of my mouth a few times. To say the least, the past few months have not been easy. But this makes me realize, that nothing is going to seem “fair” during the journey. A lot of times it has been hard for me to believe that I can continue believing in having something more. So in these trying times, I started listening to a lot of motivational speeches. My favorite being “The Strangest Secret,” narrated by Earl Nightingale. One nugget he states is “success is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal. If a man is working towards a predetermined goal, he is a success. If he is not doing that, he is a failure.” He also states, “the opposite of courage in our society is not cowardice, it is conformity.” So in the face of hardship, I must remember, “I am a success because I am courageous.”

What we receive is directly in proportionate to what we get. And I post all of these positive things, but once things get discouraging, I have to check myself. Changing a way of thinking and being is hard, especially when all around, things try to convince you to take the easy route and stay the same. I was going to name this post “Effort,” but realized that effort equals to the Courage we must have to make this effort. It takes a lot of courage to believe in anything, much less think that things can be different from what it is you see and know. A lot of times it’s the ones we love or look up to that tell us that these things are not achievable. Think of a child who believe in Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny and their reaction once they realize that what they believed in wasn’t real. Think of believing in a Love and the feeling of realizing that the Love you thought was real was an apparition. Think of working on a project that you believe in for months or years and then being rejected over and over again by the powers that be. It can be devastating. It takes courage to go all in and put that effort in to wholeheartedly believe.

So many of us want things but lack the vision and motivation. We don’t know HOW we will get somewhere, so somewhere in our mind, back in our subconscious there are little voices that discourages ACTION. They discourage you from taking the first step and to follow through with all of the steps that follow. These little voices give excuses. Maybe they tell you flat out that you won’t be able to get what you want. Maybe they say you should wait until the “right time.” Maybe you worry about what your parents, friends or critics would say, but courage is “the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc., without fear.” William James stated “we need only in cold blood act as if the thing in question were real and it will become infallibly real by growing into such a connection with our life, that it will become real. It will be so in knit with habit and emotion that our interest in it will be those that characterize belief.” William Shakespeare noted “our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.” Our courage is in our beliefs. Our courage is in our actions.

Sometimes I think I am naive, but I am idealistic, and I do believe “what give is what you get” (though sometimes this does not seem to be the case). Sometimes you give so much and don’t seem to get what it is that you put into a situation / endeavor. But the key is not to give up. The key is to become stronger and to become more courageous. Your goals will be met, even after successive seeming failures. Many of us give up in the sight of failure which is why it takes courage to “believe and achieve.” It takes courage to face yourself, your worst enemy and your best friend. But once you realize success is a process and a journey, you will be able to face all things that come your way. You will be willing to go down a road and not stop until you reach the end. Many things will be in your path. Many things will tell you you’re doing the wrong thing or that you’re going in the wrong direction and ask how are you going to get all the way down the path of the impossible or unknown. Fix your mind to believe that nothing that will stand in your path will prevent you from achieving your goal. This is the key. Courage.

Remember, the number one naysayers is more than likely, yourself. So set your mind to a goal and gather the courage to see it all the way through. I came across a prime example while going through motivational speeches; a 12 minute video of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s story. He set a goal and against all odds, became a champion. How did he do this? He put in effort daily. He believed in himself so much that he convinced others to believe in him too. Now there is a sports festival named after him.

It takes courage to stand alone. It takes courage to say no to conformity in order to become and achieve something greater. Each of us are all great. We each just have to have the courage to believe that we are.

Giving to Self

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I wanted to touch on the topic of giving to self, because this often is thought of as that ugly word “selfish.” I believe this is because we lose sight of what the word selfish really means. To look out/take care of oneself is to be thought of as selfish. But how can we care for our loved ones if we do not care for ourselves first? To be of good health, mentally, spiritually, physically and emotionally is the only way we will be able to serve others.

According to Dictionary.com, the word “selfish” means:

1.
devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one’s own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others.
2.
characterized by or manifesting concern or care only for oneself.

To me, definition number two is where most people gravitate when they call someone selfish. And if one is not being selfless, one is thought of as selfish. I had a conversation recently where the other person stated, that humans are generally selfish. But is this wrong? Should we be condemned for caring for ourselves? No. It’s when one is neglectful and/or thoughtless to the state of others, especially their loved ones, that one is being selfish. So, we must think of why we are being selfish. Are we serving an actual purpose when we are doing something considered selfish? Because there are some things we need, and other things we don’t. And there are ways to compromise with certain things, but others we MUST NOT. I’ve always perceived being selfish as something negative, when in-fact, we MUST be selfish in order to prevail at any set goals. We all have/set a purpose in life (I hope you’ve found/ decided yours), and we MUST be selfish when it comes to this purpose. Ultimately, we must do what serves us. We must put time into ourselves, our crafts, our joys, etc.

It’s only as of late that I’ve come to realize just how important “me time” is. If I neglect myself, how can I build? A mind of peace is hard to find in this day, but that “me time” allows me to write and mull over ideas and plans and work on being a better person. Who would I become if I overexert my assets and act without thought or purpose? I would be doing a disservice to myself AND my loved ones. As a child, and growing into the woman I am today, I have always thought that I had to give in order to not be selfish. But in giving I actually lost sight of why I gave. And in turn, did not serve myself or my purpose and goals. In realizing this, I realize that just because the word selfish has such a negative connotation doesn’t mean one should martyr oneself for the heck of it. Give all of your acts a purpose. If it’s for the greater good, it is still a service to yourself on many levels, one namely, spiritually. That purpose is a driving point.

As I stated before, when you think about your real goals, they encompass happiness and being mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually healthy. You can only achieve that if you are not “selfish” once in a while and be sure you are able of the task at hand. If not, you are not “devoted” or “caring” to yourself. And you must develop compassion not only for others, but for yourself and realize that in order to serve yourself, we must serve others. Not to sound hoaxy or new-age, but it’s all connected.

I believe everything is about building and rebuilding–it’s a cycle and a learning process. We have to replenish our being on a daily basis by being active in giving to self. This is the only way to be better. That is what heightens our sense of self-respect, self-worth and self-sufficiency. All else are added blessings.

Remember, giving is GREAT, but do not neglect yourself while serving others. To neglect yourself would actually be a disservice to others, because you are not at your best. We have to get out of the mindset that if we serve ourselves we cannot serve others, that we do not serve others. Even in volunteering or donating we are serving ourselves by feeding our emotional and spiritual self.

I guess I’m directing this post to those who forget about themselves. They think of what another person’s needs before their own. I advocate this way of thinking. But at some point, one must think of oneself. Remember your purpose.

Building on the Ground of Defeat

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I recently faced defeat. I put my whole being into an endevour and when I didn’t succeed at my goal I felt as though I failed. After a bit of time feeling this way I decided that I had to make a change. I had to change how I felt because my goals still have to be achieved. But I’ve learned that emotions are a process. Once the mind makes a decision, the emotional aspect of that decision is something that can take time because you still remember what that failure/ defeat felt like. So when I decided to restore, I had to make my mind stronger than my emotions. And when one firmly decides to make a change, one is opened to finding different tools within day to day life to aide in that goal. I came across a few things that echoed my sentiments:

1. The quote: “We may encounter many defeats, but we must not be defeated.” -Maya Angelou

This reminded me that in this time in my life, it is important to not let mistakes or seeming failures (even repeated mistakes/ seeming failures) hold me back from continuing to strive in being consistent in exuding positivity and productivity and in simply, being better. I must not let failure bring me to a mind-space that “I will not be able to ever meet my goals.” And though I falter CONSTANTLY with my positivity (more times than I’d like to admit), I realize that if I punish myself for all the wrong I’ve done as opposed realizing why I did not succeed at that time and where I went wrong, I will not be able to correct my actions in the future. I would be in-fact imposing more negative energy on myself, my life and my future endeavors. I have to be positive even when I’m wrong and feel defeated, or I will more than likely wallow longer with/ because of a defeated mentality.

2. “A post on LinkedIn Influencers share how they turned setbacks into success.”

As powerful/ experienced/ driven as we may feel on a day to day basis, we are human. We fall into holes; we get tired; we get bored; we get lazy; we make a mistakes. We are complex creatures that live complex lives from an array of experiences. Many of those experiences that press us and challenge us, are there to help us grow and become stronger. The key is letting them. Certain experiences push us to the breaking point, and maybe sometimes even break us in making us doubt our abilities. But the fight in us is what determines the outcome. A moment where we doubt our abilities is a moment where we inadvertently make the choice between growth/expansion or failure/stagnation. But once we are in that moment of fear and doubt, we still have a chance to decided what defines us. Every year, month, day, moment, we must decide on moving forward towards progression.

Learn to face your weaknesses and your mistakes HEAD ON. You can only fail if you quit/ give-up. SO DON’T!

3. Easter.

This may seem odd to some (especially those that know me because I do not currently practice a religion). But through my own interpretations, and being raised Catholic, I realize that religious lessons do give word to life lessons. It is up to the one listening/ reading to find the guidance it provides. And it is the idea of resurrection and renewal that I’d like to touch on.

To me, Easter is about being “spiritually resurrected.” I believe in turning bad situations into lessons and making something you feel you will never recover from, a stepping stone. This is by walking in Faith. Whether in our careers, finances or relationships, there are heights and pitfalls. We are all magnificent beings, but many of us don’t truly believe in the power we possess to be better in all areas in life. Maybe we feel as though we are undeserving or that we are not strong enough to lift ourselves from defeat. There are many obstacles–mental, physical and spiritual. But what gets me through is understanding that we all have weaknesses. And by simply recognizing those weakness we become stronger. And then by working on our weaknesses we get even stronger. And when we finally overcome those weaknesses, we recognize our strengths instead of our weakness.

Recognizing our strengths allow us to recognize the strength of others. And when we see the good in others, we are more of an asset to society, our loved ones and most importantly, ourselves. With each step towards overcoming and building from and past those setbacks and moments of defeat, we feel empowered and we feel FULL. We are able to give not only to ourselves, but to others. And the beautiful thing about giving is we allow ourselves to receive the same. We figure out how to renew because we are abundant.

So when you feel as though things are hard and you’re so low that you don’t think you’ll ever get where you truly want to be, remember that building is a process. Getting stronger is a process. Being better takes time–it takes failing over and over and over again. But it also takes having a mind-set that would not allow you to give up. Because how can you put the effort into anything from a defeated mind-set? How can you build anything believing you don’t already have what it takes to achieve it?

“Resurrect” yourself and walk firmer, taller and stronger than before with the Faith and optimism that you are better and will be better than ever before.

Learning to Dream

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Does that make sense?  Somewhere along the line, I believe many of us unlearn how to really dream.  We unlearn how to believe without boundaries and learn how to differentiate dream from reality to the point that we don’t really realize how interconnected our lives are with our dreams, our imagination.  We get discouraged by the slightest thought of “reality,” where “no one gets what they want in life and most of us work hard just to survive.” We are about the duties of life and not how to make your life worthwhile; adult responsibilities are more important than finding and sustaining happiness. But, everyone deserves to be happy. And how can we teach that to another generation this if we don’t know how to just be happy. First we must relearn what we’ve lost and reach what we once thought was attainable.

I thought that knowing how to dream is something that we just knew how to do.  That it’s something we carry on from childhood.  A skill.  But like any skill, dreaming has to be practiced regularly to be sustained and improved. I don’t think that many people I know remember how to do that. I’m not talking about falling asleep at night and subconsciously forming pictures in your mind (though many people don’t even remember their night dreams…coincidence?). I’m talking about stretching your imagination to the point where you thought you could honestly do anything.

I’ve just realized that what we learn as adults replaces what we know intrinsically as children. But this shouldn’t be. When we learn must add all of these skills onto our mental library and develop them with time.

Try to remember what you once believed the world to be and be it. We mustn’t give up on achieving the impossible. It’s in these moments we find magic. We find out things about ourselves that we didn’t know or that we forgot. It may be difficult at times, but we will find happiness in those moments where our beliefs become reality. I am relearning how to believe and there are setbacks, but I always come back to my dream.

Now, I’m not suggesting you quit your job and leave your family behind, but using the talents we all were blessed with (yes you have a talent/talents) to utilize to bring about quality to our lives and the lives of those around us. Even if we use them in a small way. It is in those connections (with yourself and others) and with those gifts, that we reconnect with our dreams. And I know I sound like a broken record, but it all comes down to L. O. V. E.

Love what you do. Love who you are. Love where you’re going. Love what your past has taught you. Because as I heard at a fitness convention last year, “everything you are in this moment is a culmination of all that you have done.”

So with that logic, everything you can be starts from this moment you’re in and will build day by day by all that you do. Start your dream today; right now, in this moment by believing it’s a reality that can be attained. And remember…Love inspires all things, so inspire Love.

Completion Through Love

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My vision
My soul-mate
I was made whole
But completion is what I sought
In you
In me
The charge behind my passions
The comfort in my holds
Released within your arms
The world, a fog beyond my grasp
We will create
We will inspire
Seeing everything and nothing beyond our world
Together
We have so much to do
Cultivate
Build
To inspire within each other what we want to see in the world
The challenge and privilege of Love
Of THIS Love
We are the seed
We are just a branch of a tree
Just the stem to a leaf
We were made whole
But we sought completion
The balance we craved and seeked blindly was in the other
Heart to Heart
Mind to Mind
Soul to Soul

AMBITION

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You keep telling me that what I want is too big
You keep telling me that the words won’t come
There’s a familiar grip around my spirit, but still I fix my gaze onto success
It doesn’t matter where I stand at this very moment or what I currently hold in my hand
My mind’s eye is set on site and my heart is open
There’s so much that I want
And I’m learning how to receive
Learning how to listen and how to speak
Things come slow but I must not let it slip in my passionate grip
So often that’s been the case
Feminine finesse and faithful patience are still acquiring traits
So sometimes I take for granted the Queen in me
Overbearing strength is not always the way
Still molding myself and my mind
But as long as my hands can write
And as long and my heart can feel
I will write life into my dreams
I will write of love beyond loss
Goals set forth, whose bearings are implanted in my character and creativity
Better than before and smarter than before I aim higher than before
I love harder than before
And all that I am is the foundation to all that will be