To Succeed in Trying

About a week ago I found myself in a negative mind space. It wasn’t the first time and it probably won’t be the last. So as a boost, I declared to the Facebook universe that I would do something inspiring to myself. What better thing for me to do than write?!

I guess this is a confession of sorts, because in all honesty, everything that I’ve done that seems the least bit inspiring has been done for the sake of my spirit. I guess I haven’t needed much inspiring lately because I haven’t been doing much inspiring (if that makes sense). I hadn’t been writing as much, working out as much, singing as much or practicing my guitar. I’ve set so many goals and have so far to go, yet I haven’t been giving them my all. And to say the least, I was a bit disappointed with my actions.

Because goals set had not come to complete fruition I felt as though I hasn’t really accomplishing anything. I haven’t been doing as much as I used to, and I realized in a sense I was basing my accomplishments on the saying “to try is to fail.” One must just do, right? And I guess to some degree, I agree. But there is a part of me that says that saying is wrong. The first attempt at a new accomplishment, or any accomplishment for that matter, is the act of trying. You’re not sure what the outcome will be but you make the attempt anyway. I actually think that giving an honest try at a goal is an accomplishment in itself. It’s coming to terms with possible initial failure and still stepping forward, chest out, heart out, hope out. I don’t know anyone who wants to fail, so to tell yourself that you will do something no matter how many times you seem to fail says something tremendous about your spirit. And I guess one can argue that everyone should always go into and endeavour expecting to accomplish their desired result. But sometimes life is funny way of showing you your strengths in what path to take to your goal.

We learn everyday, and lots of times that learning is of ourselves. We learn where we’re weak and where we’re strong. In my trying I’ve seen weaknesses that I obviously didn’t like. I work at being better, but there were setbacks, both internal and external. Still, I work to make those changes a way of life. I could continue to wallow in the fact that there is still much growth to be had but I look at the changes and know I’m well on my way to all I want to accomplish. Though I’m not there, I know the key is to try continually . So I’ve accepted new challenges as well as refashioned my goals to be more short-term successes–breaking down the time frames. Where I was a year ago shows significant growth in all aspects of my life. So I will continue to try and be better.

“Try: to make an effort to do or accomplish something.”

#knowbetterdobetter

Give Love

You’ve heard the phrase: What doesn’t kill you make you stronger! But I think many people interpret the phrase: “What doesn’t kill you makes you harder.”  We tend to allow circumstances to change us for the worse and make us bitter instead of giving insight to our own minds and hearts.  Because every situation, whether good or bad, allows us not only to see how people within the world moves, but also allows us to see ourselves clearer and allows us to become better.

This is why I decided on the name “LiberTeeLove.” It is exactly what it sounds like.  I recognized around the time I wrote the song below, that I withheld Love.  I feared Love and decided on “LiberTeeLove” to remind myself to be more open to life.  As I get older I realize there is no merit in withholding Love and positivity.  One of our greatest achievements is our vast capability to Love.  Love is the inspirer of all things and I want to inspire goodness.  I want to be inspired by goodness.  I know people who believe that there isn’t much goodness within the world.  But regardless of the Love that another withholds or the Love I show, I will always be me.  Nothing will change that.  My mother said that I will always find my self in positions where I am not fully appreciated because of this.  She is right.  I am a bit naive in that sense and I’ve been disappointed many times, but I cannot be any other way.  I will always show Love regardless of disappointment within a situation.   And as I’ve gotten older, I’ve come to a sort of peace with that knowledge.

Not everyone thinks in the way I do.  Not everyone Loves the way I do.  Some may think of me as stupid for this.  But to Love is to believe in the Truth of my own makeup.  Through Love I thrive.  I recently told a close friend of mine that it’s a gift and a curse.  His response: “I think it’s more of a gift.”  (LOVE HIM!)  With that phrase he confirmed my belief that the way I Love is where a big portion of my beauty comes from.  He sees that.  And it’s those relationships and moments that inspire me to continue loving and expressing how I feel to those I Love.

With all of that said, I am guilty of hurting and I am guilty of not fully appreciating the Love someone had to give because of my own fear.  But experience has expanded my mind and view.  I am not perfect.  I am human.  It’s easy to get drawn back into a fearful way of thinking and being, which is a big reason why I post.  Not only do I want to inspire others to look into their own hearts and minds, but I also need to remind myself of why I’m here.  “LOVE INSPIRES ALL THINGS, SO INSPIRE LOVE.”  So, I will express what it is I feel until I feel another way.  My heart is big and bold and resilient.  Because even in the face of doubt and pain one should choose to Give Love and acknowledge Love in any way one can.

I really hope you enjoy the song and hope that it inspires you to BE POSITIVE even when you’ve been hurt.  I can’t believe it’s been five years since I wrote it, but I think the words are still powerful and will resonate with some.  Express positivity instead of bitterness.  Love wholly.

Thanks again for all of your support!

Give Love

You did what you could to make me fall
And you did what you could to make me not care at all
But although I was easily deceived
Your lies will not make me cease to believe
That all people aren’t dirty
True no one is clean
And though you hurt my faith in humanity
I will not rip off my sleeves
I will give love
I will give love
Cause my heart was made to last
My heart can never forget the past
‘Cause I grow stronger with all that I achieve
So in spite of you I will not rip off my sleeves
I must admit for a while I was broken
Wondering if there was any point in hoping
And though sometimes I do recede
I know life happens to everyone and so I believe
I will give love
I will give love
You did shake me
But you won’t break me
‘Cause my heart was made to last
And so what my heart can never forget the past
‘Cause I grow stronger with all that I achieve
So in spite of you I will not rip off my sleeves
I will give love
I will give love
I will give love
I will give love
You did shake me
But you won’t no you can’t break me

I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For

Everyday is a blessing.  The goal is to learn a new lesson everyday, regardless of how profound or simple.  Over the past four months I’ve learned a few things about myself and about what it is that I want out of life.  This spans from my professional life, to my hobbies and passions, including Love.

As some of you may know, I started taking guitar classes the last week of October, which was my way of reaching deeper into my need to create.  I started writing stories at the age of eight (don’t ask me what I was writing at that age) and I’ve always loved music and singing for just about as long.  Though I am no maestro, I think I’ve come a ways in these four months.  And since I didn’t know what to post today, I thought I would expose a different piece of me through my love for music and singing.

Here is my version of U2’s “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For.”  In time, I hope that I will be able to post more than covers.  I have a few songs in the works and I hope that you’ll stick around to see them.  In the meantime, enjoy the cover. 🙂 ❤

2013 The Year of Conquering Fear

It’s been a long time since I’ve posted.  Inconsistency is the death of progress and 2013 is to be a year of progress.  So consistency, here I come!

It’s the last day of January 2013 and I thought it would be a good time to assess this year’s goals.  I’ve had an entire month to get a feel of what 2013 is offering and commit to what I want it to be.  I will not say “2013 is my year,” but I will definitely say that 2013 will be a breakthrough year for me.  And, no it’s not because I will be turning 30!

I have labeled 2013 the year to CONQUER FEAR!  It’s said that fear is the fuel for every great acheivement that ever was, so 2013 is the time to be courageous and plan on acheiving those dreams that fear told me were unattainable.

My first fear-facing acheivement of 2013 had a running start, because I started taking guitar classes last October.  But on January 26th 2013, I performed my first guitar solo.  I down play it by making sure everyone knows how much I fumbled with singing and playing John Lennon’s “Imagine.” But it was honestly a great personal acheivement, because the three months of weekly learning sessions did not take away from facing my fear of getting on a stage and having all eyes on me.  As I continue to practice, I hope that I am continually inspired to write so that I can start writing and performing solo-worthy songs.

I’ve also decided that 2013 is the year to work on my issue with Trust.  Anyone who really knows me knows that instilling Trust from the start is a major issue of mine, which definitely stems from the fear of being hurt or taken advantage of.  But I’ve recently come to the revelation that sometimes Trust has to be given before it can be earned.  Regardless of how you try to prevent it, life will bring you pain.  Life will bring you disappointment.  But life will also bring you love.  Life will bring you everlasting friendships.  Life will bring you moments that will make a little (or a lot) of pain worth the risk.  Being suspicious and overly analytical will only beget further negative energy.  I’m working on being courageous enough to take on all that life has to bring with an open heart and mind.

Decide what you want from 2013.  Manifest it!  Face it!  Take it!  You are the only thing holding you back from facing your destiny.

All in Love is Fair

Something inspired by Stevie Wonder’s ability in finding a way to give a piece of his soul while taking a piece of yours in a way that only a musical genius could.

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Was it wrong to want you? Because Hades still burns through and through. From deepened thoughts to softened skin. At times I wonder if it’s really Love that I feel, this passion that consumes me in melancholic bouts. Or could it just be infatuation? All I know is I want you next to me. And in these moments, spurs of idiomatic phrases crystallize in my soul. “I love you.” “I want you.” I think I’ve felt almost every feeling that is because of you, down to the most sinful and I pray that the Universe doesn’t hurl them back at me with your absent presence. Because when I told you I loved you, you put me on hold. So I shoved you out of my life though I still ache to have you near. And I wonder to myself “is it a mistake?” Could I have, should I have endured your proclamations of love without feeling the breath of those words? No.

Though love is patient, I can wait no longer. Maybe in a later life I wold be able to touch your skin again. Maybe in a later life you’ll be the African and I’ll be the Egyptian. But the woman of this life shall endure without the sweetness of your words. The woman of this life will no longer touch her lips to your lips and will ache at the thought of being without those meager things. Those dreams of Love sting less when it doesn’t dangle from a tree like some strange fruit. A faded memory, out of sight to lessen the pain. Call me a coward for searching for the less painful dream of making love to “music of my mind.”

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Superwoman . . . Where Where You When I Needed You

Being that I’m feeling very amorous at the moment, I thought I’d post another song (music is my lifeline).  Lyrics are below if you’re interested.  This song was composed by the genius Stevie Wonder.

This song was introduced to me by the love of my life…

Mary wants to be a superwoman
But is that really in her head
But I just want to live each day to love her
for what she is

Mary wants to be another movie star
But is that really in her mind
And all the things she wants to be
She needs to leave behind

But, very well, I believe I know you-very well
Wish that you knew me too-very well
And I think I can deal with everything going through your head

Very well, and I think I can face-very well
Wish that you knew me too-very well
And I think I can cope with everything going through your head

Mary wants to be a superwoman
And try to boss the bull around
But does she really think that she will get by with a dream

My woman want to be a superwoman
And I just had to say good-bye
Because I can’t spend all my hours start to cry

But, very well, I believe I know you
Very well wish that you knew me too
Very well, And I think I can deal with everything going through your head

Very well, think that I know you too
Very well, wish you knew me like I know you
Very well, but I think I can deal with everything going through your head
Your filthy head

Very well, dum dum da, dum dum da
Very well, wish you knew me too
Very well, And I wish I could think of everything going through your head

Very well, dum dum da, dum da, dum da
dum dum da, dum da, very well
And I think I can deal with everything going through your head

When the summer came you were not around
Now the summer’s gone and love cannot be found
Where were you when I needed you-last winter, my love?

When the winter came you went further south
Parting from love’s nest, leaving me in doubt
Where are you when I need you, like right now?

Our love is at an end
But you say now you have changed
But tomorrow will reflect love’s past

When the winter came you were not around
Through the bitter winds love could not be found
Where were you when I needed you, last winter, my love?

Oh I need you baby, I need you baby

Our love is at an end
But you say now you have changed,
But tomorrow will reflect love’s past oh

Spring will fill the air and you will come around,
Well is it summer love that will let me down,
Where were you when I needed you, last winter, my love?

La la la la la, la la la la la
La la la la la, la la la la la
Where are you when I need you, like right now?
Right now, right now, right now

Where were you when I needed you last winter, my dear
I need you baby, I need you baby, I need you baby
Oh, Where were you when I needed you last winter, last winter

Yea, Need you Baby, need you, need you baby,
Oh, you want me too need you baby
Oh where were you when I needed you last, dear
Yea

Gravity

I was introduced a few months ago to Sara Bareilles song “Gravity” by a good friend of mine, and fell in love. Granted, this song was featured on Bareilles’ album “Little Voice” in 2007, a whole three years ago, but the lyrics to this song is timeless. What made me really fall in love with this song were the lines:

“You loved me ’cause I’m fragile, but I thought that I was strong. But you touch me for a little while, and all my fragile strength is gone.”

In my interpretation, this is a smartly written song. And that is the real reason for this blog today; the concept of this song “Gravity.” The essential definition to the word “gravity,” (following the concept of the song and according to thefreedictionary.com) is “the natural force of attraction exerted by a celestial body…upon objects at or near its surface, tending to draw them toward the center of the body.” I am an over-analyzer, so not only do I see Bareilles’ idea of being held down by this lover, but also being draw to her lover, a “celestial body” himself.

That’s it y’all. I’m a hopeless romantic and I think this song is tortuously passionate, and share-worthy. LoL. I’ve posted the video (very visually stimulating as well as creative) from youtube.com as well as the lyrics (written by Sara Barielles) below. Hope you fall in love with it as I did. Listen and Enjoyyyyy.

GRAVITY

Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.
No matter what I say or do.
I still feel you here, ’til the moment I’m gone.

You hold me without touch
You keep me without chains
I never wanted anything so much
Than to drown in your love, and not feel your reign

Set me free, leave me be
I don’t want to another moment into your gravity
Here I am, and I stand so tall
Just the way I’m supposed to be
But you’re onto me, and all over me

Oh, you loved me ’cause I’m fragile
But I thought that I was strong
But you touch me for a little while
And all my fragile strength is gone

Set me free, leave me be
I don’t want to another moment into your gravity
Here I am, and I stand so tall
Just the way I’m supposed to be
But you’re onto me, and all over me

I live here on my knees as I try to make you see that you’re everything I think I need here on the ground
But you’re neither friend nor foe, though I can’t seem to let you go
The one thing that I still know is that you’re keeping me down
You’re keeping me down

You’re onto me, onto me and all over
Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.