Category: Family

Courage

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As stated many times before, there are many things that I want to accomplish. I actually just finished a in-depth conversation with a very close friend about one of these goals and the effort I have been putting in. In turn, I also stated that so many people I know don’t seem to put effort into anything and seem to be getting by. “It’s not fair” came out of my mouth a few times. To say the least, the past few months have not been easy. But this makes me realize, that nothing is going to seem “fair” during the journey. A lot of times it has been hard for me to believe that I can continue believing in having something more. So in these trying times, I started listening to a lot of motivational speeches. My favorite being “The Strangest Secret,” narrated by Earl Nightingale. One nugget he states is “success is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal. If a man is working towards a predetermined goal, he is a success. If he is not doing that, he is a failure.” He also states, “the opposite of courage in our society is not cowardice, it is conformity.” So in the face of hardship, I must remember, “I am a success because I am courageous.”

What we receive is directly in proportionate to what we get. And I post all of these positive things, but once things get discouraging, I have to check myself. Changing a way of thinking and being is hard, especially when all around, things try to convince you to take the easy route and stay the same. I was going to name this post “Effort,” but realized that effort equals to the Courage we must have to make this effort. It takes a lot of courage to believe in anything, much less think that things can be different from what it is you see and know. A lot of times it’s the ones we love or look up to that tell us that these things are not achievable. Think of a child who believe in Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny and their reaction once they realize that what they believed in wasn’t real. Think of believing in a Love and the feeling of realizing that the Love you thought was real was an apparition. Think of working on a project that you believe in for months or years and then being rejected over and over again by the powers that be. It can be devastating. It takes courage to go all in and put that effort in to wholeheartedly believe.

So many of us want things but lack the vision and motivation. We don’t know HOW we will get somewhere, so somewhere in our mind, back in our subconscious there are little voices that discourages ACTION. They discourage you from taking the first step and to follow through with all of the steps that follow. These little voices give excuses. Maybe they tell you flat out that you won’t be able to get what you want. Maybe they say you should wait until the “right time.” Maybe you worry about what your parents, friends or critics would say, but courage is “the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc., without fear.” William James stated “we need only in cold blood act as if the thing in question were real and it will become infallibly real by growing into such a connection with our life, that it will become real. It will be so in knit with habit and emotion that our interest in it will be those that characterize belief.” William Shakespeare noted “our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.” Our courage is in our beliefs. Our courage is in our actions.

Sometimes I think I am naive, but I am idealistic, and I do believe “what give is what you get” (though sometimes this does not seem to be the case). Sometimes you give so much and don’t seem to get what it is that you put into a situation / endeavor. But the key is not to give up. The key is to become stronger and to become more courageous. Your goals will be met, even after successive seeming failures. Many of us give up in the sight of failure which is why it takes courage to “believe and achieve.” It takes courage to face yourself, your worst enemy and your best friend. But once you realize success is a process and a journey, you will be able to face all things that come your way. You will be willing to go down a road and not stop until you reach the end. Many things will be in your path. Many things will tell you you’re doing the wrong thing or that you’re going in the wrong direction and ask how are you going to get all the way down the path of the impossible or unknown. Fix your mind to believe that nothing that will stand in your path will prevent you from achieving your goal. This is the key. Courage.

Remember, the number one naysayers is more than likely, yourself. So set your mind to a goal and gather the courage to see it all the way through. I came across a prime example while going through motivational speeches; a 12 minute video of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s story. He set a goal and against all odds, became a champion. How did he do this? He put in effort daily. He believed in himself so much that he convinced others to believe in him too. Now there is a sports festival named after him.

It takes courage to stand alone. It takes courage to say no to conformity in order to become and achieve something greater. Each of us are all great. We each just have to have the courage to believe that we are.

Building on the Ground of Defeat

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I recently faced defeat. I put my whole being into an endevour and when I didn’t succeed at my goal I felt as though I failed. After a bit of time feeling this way I decided that I had to make a change. I had to change how I felt because my goals still have to be achieved. But I’ve learned that emotions are a process. Once the mind makes a decision, the emotional aspect of that decision is something that can take time because you still remember what that failure/ defeat felt like. So when I decided to restore, I had to make my mind stronger than my emotions. And when one firmly decides to make a change, one is opened to finding different tools within day to day life to aide in that goal. I came across a few things that echoed my sentiments:

1. The quote: “We may encounter many defeats, but we must not be defeated.” -Maya Angelou

This reminded me that in this time in my life, it is important to not let mistakes or seeming failures (even repeated mistakes/ seeming failures) hold me back from continuing to strive in being consistent in exuding positivity and productivity and in simply, being better. I must not let failure bring me to a mind-space that “I will not be able to ever meet my goals.” And though I falter CONSTANTLY with my positivity (more times than I’d like to admit), I realize that if I punish myself for all the wrong I’ve done as opposed realizing why I did not succeed at that time and where I went wrong, I will not be able to correct my actions in the future. I would be in-fact imposing more negative energy on myself, my life and my future endeavors. I have to be positive even when I’m wrong and feel defeated, or I will more than likely wallow longer with/ because of a defeated mentality.

2. “A post on LinkedIn Influencers share how they turned setbacks into success.”

As powerful/ experienced/ driven as we may feel on a day to day basis, we are human. We fall into holes; we get tired; we get bored; we get lazy; we make a mistakes. We are complex creatures that live complex lives from an array of experiences. Many of those experiences that press us and challenge us, are there to help us grow and become stronger. The key is letting them. Certain experiences push us to the breaking point, and maybe sometimes even break us in making us doubt our abilities. But the fight in us is what determines the outcome. A moment where we doubt our abilities is a moment where we inadvertently make the choice between growth/expansion or failure/stagnation. But once we are in that moment of fear and doubt, we still have a chance to decided what defines us. Every year, month, day, moment, we must decide on moving forward towards progression.

Learn to face your weaknesses and your mistakes HEAD ON. You can only fail if you quit/ give-up. SO DON’T!

3. Easter.

This may seem odd to some (especially those that know me because I do not currently practice a religion). But through my own interpretations, and being raised Catholic, I realize that religious lessons do give word to life lessons. It is up to the one listening/ reading to find the guidance it provides. And it is the idea of resurrection and renewal that I’d like to touch on.

To me, Easter is about being “spiritually resurrected.” I believe in turning bad situations into lessons and making something you feel you will never recover from, a stepping stone. This is by walking in Faith. Whether in our careers, finances or relationships, there are heights and pitfalls. We are all magnificent beings, but many of us don’t truly believe in the power we possess to be better in all areas in life. Maybe we feel as though we are undeserving or that we are not strong enough to lift ourselves from defeat. There are many obstacles–mental, physical and spiritual. But what gets me through is understanding that we all have weaknesses. And by simply recognizing those weakness we become stronger. And then by working on our weaknesses we get even stronger. And when we finally overcome those weaknesses, we recognize our strengths instead of our weakness.

Recognizing our strengths allow us to recognize the strength of others. And when we see the good in others, we are more of an asset to society, our loved ones and most importantly, ourselves. With each step towards overcoming and building from and past those setbacks and moments of defeat, we feel empowered and we feel FULL. We are able to give not only to ourselves, but to others. And the beautiful thing about giving is we allow ourselves to receive the same. We figure out how to renew because we are abundant.

So when you feel as though things are hard and you’re so low that you don’t think you’ll ever get where you truly want to be, remember that building is a process. Getting stronger is a process. Being better takes time–it takes failing over and over and over again. But it also takes having a mind-set that would not allow you to give up. Because how can you put the effort into anything from a defeated mind-set? How can you build anything believing you don’t already have what it takes to achieve it?

“Resurrect” yourself and walk firmer, taller and stronger than before with the Faith and optimism that you are better and will be better than ever before.

AMBITION

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You keep telling me that what I want is too big
You keep telling me that the words won’t come
There’s a familiar grip around my spirit, but still I fix my gaze onto success
It doesn’t matter where I stand at this very moment or what I currently hold in my hand
My mind’s eye is set on site and my heart is open
There’s so much that I want
And I’m learning how to receive
Learning how to listen and how to speak
Things come slow but I must not let it slip in my passionate grip
So often that’s been the case
Feminine finesse and faithful patience are still acquiring traits
So sometimes I take for granted the Queen in me
Overbearing strength is not always the way
Still molding myself and my mind
But as long as my hands can write
And as long and my heart can feel
I will write life into my dreams
I will write of love beyond loss
Goals set forth, whose bearings are implanted in my character and creativity
Better than before and smarter than before I aim higher than before
I love harder than before
And all that I am is the foundation to all that will be

Forgive

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Cliche, I know. But with the “whole new year, new me” slogan that goes around about this time, I thought forgiveness was a proper topic to speak on. They say that when you forgive you free yourself from the poisionous burden of hate, resentment, anger… etc. So the new year is one of the best times to take all the baggage you’ve accumulated and start 2014 off “light.”

Now, when I talk about forgiveness, I’m not just talking about forgiving your parents or your boyfriend/girlfriend. I’m also talking about forgiving yourself. We don’t always achieve our given goal on the first, second or third try. We don’t always stay focused on every single goal we’ve set your sights on. And we are often harder on ourselves than others. We are more willing and quicker to give others another chance than we are for ourselves. It may just be because we tend to pay more attention to what others have intentionally/unintentionally done to us than what we do to ourselves unintentionally. It’s more tangible in a way. But when we let ourselves down we must be conscious and not lose hope or Faith in our potential for growth and greatness. We are so flawed in our humanity in many aspects, but in others we are magnificent creators. I’ve always said (since this year), Love inspires all things, so inspire Love.© So keep Faith in Love.

Now, I say not to lose Faith, but who am I kidding? This is the goal, but sometimes we do. So what must we do when we feel as though we’ve lost Faith in ourself and/or progression? Restore Faith! If you have let yourself down, do something to lift your spirits. Acheive something! Prove to yourself that you can still accomplish so much. If you’ve let someone else down, preform a grand gesture to initiate Faith and let that person know that he/she can still count on you. Reliability is a cornerstone of any of relationship so to forgive yourself/another and to be forgiven is no easy feat. But one can with hard work, time and an open heart and mind. And what better way to face 2014 than with an open heart and mind?

Blessings everyone. Be safe.

And remember… Love inspires all things, so inspire Love.© ♥

Motivation

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On Saturday I went to fitness conference at the Jacob Javits Center. I’m still a bit sore, but it’s good pain. I’m thankful for that. But what I also enjoyed was the lecture that was given on motivation. “How do I get motivated to workout?” This was the question asked, and since I have been pretty consistent and work out on a regular basis as of late, I felt as though I shouldn’t stay and listen. But I stayed…a break in between classes. And the conversation turned into more than, what motivates you to workout. It turned into what motivates you in life. And I enjoyed it thoroughly because it echoed feelings and thoughts I’ve been having and further confirmed that I’m on the right track toward my goals. It inspired me.

Positivity is my lover and I do my best to be ever faithful. Being positive is key to all goals and all upward movement. And it is this frame of mind that draws motivated, inspirational people in my life. I remind myself why my view of life has lifted higher (goals, vision) and how I increased the power within myself. These points are key. You’re level in life is only as high as your vision. And with this vision, I know that all that I want will be acheived with Faith, consistent hard work and PATIENCE (god knows I’m still building on the latter).

So I stay grounded in a renewed and intensified (to an exponential power) love for myself, a love for my life and the people in it, an enthusiastic appreciation for all things good and in a knowing that no other power is greater than my own in my world, because I set the pace.

I SET THE FREQUENCY.

Something that was said in the lecture that relates to all things is, “where you are is where you’re supposed to be, because it is the sum result to all that you’ve done and all that has happened to you, to this point.” This concept was related to health so diet and exercise were the main variables. But this also relates to life. Is your life in tip top shape. Is it the vision you have for yourself? If so, keep doing what you are doing. If not, you can change that. Again, this will take patience, hard work and Faith in yourself to motivate towards your goal and to stay motivated. Whatever you want can be done. You can find a way. You can get there!

My Favorite F Words

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Sometimes the best lessons are not profound. What is real doesn’t always have to be “discovered.” Many times, what is most real is the constant within our lives. It is the seed planted within a child and the vine of knowledge that is nurtured in his/her growth. It is the subconscious.

Over the weekend I was able to spend time with family members I hadn’t seen in years. But even though it had been so long, the bond is still strong. In speaking with them, I further strengthened revelations I’ve had recently and have come to realize that all the things that seem new to me are things that I’ve been instilled with. To be independent and strong. To have Faith and to Love. To be honest and good. I was taught this at a young age and yet still, these lessons are learned and built upon everyday. We are given a FOUNDATION. Whether it is because we have been deprived of essential needs or given everything we could desire, FAMILY is what makes us. This weekend has brought further pride in my Love for my family. They are brilliant stars within my universe. They were my FRIENDS before I even knew the meaning of what a real friend was. They are the prototypes of all friends I’ve acquired and kept throughout my life. They keep me grounded.

It was simpler back then. Now we are all grown, some with kids and married. But now, we are able to further understand the Love we have for one another. Yes, we’re connected through Facebook and we can call each other on the phone, but nothing is like sitting down and talking face to face about what we’ve been through, what we’re going through and what we see further in our path.

Our childhood is not a discovery. While going after our dream and maintaining stability within ourselves in everyday life, we forget and remember while building and meeting new people. The memories and lessons learned when we are young and impressionable are gems that illuminate our current vision of the type of mother/ father/ friend/ lover we will be. It is the foundation to all things that is and will be. And sometimes we must revisit these times and these bonds to strengthen and marvel at what has been built.