I wanted to touch on the topic of giving to self, because this often is thought of as that ugly word “selfish.” I believe this is because we lose sight of what the word selfish really means. To look out/take care of oneself is to be thought of as selfish. But how can we care for our loved ones if we do not care for ourselves first? To be of good health, mentally, spiritually, physically and emotionally is the only way we will be able to serve others.
According to Dictionary.com, the word “selfish” means:
1.
devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one’s own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others.
2.
characterized by or manifesting concern or care only for oneself.
To me, definition number two is where most people gravitate when they call someone selfish. And if one is not being selfless, one is thought of as selfish. I had a conversation recently where the other person stated, that humans are generally selfish. But is this wrong? Should we be condemned for caring for ourselves? No. It’s when one is neglectful and/or thoughtless to the state of others, especially their loved ones, that one is being selfish. So, we must think of why we are being selfish. Are we serving an actual purpose when we are doing something considered selfish? Because there are some things we need, and other things we don’t. And there are ways to compromise with certain things, but others we MUST NOT. I’ve always perceived being selfish as something negative, when in-fact, we MUST be selfish in order to prevail at any set goals. We all have/set a purpose in life (I hope you’ve found/ decided yours), and we MUST be selfish when it comes to this purpose. Ultimately, we must do what serves us. We must put time into ourselves, our crafts, our joys, etc.
It’s only as of late that I’ve come to realize just how important “me time” is. If I neglect myself, how can I build? A mind of peace is hard to find in this day, but that “me time” allows me to write and mull over ideas and plans and work on being a better person. Who would I become if I overexert my assets and act without thought or purpose? I would be doing a disservice to myself AND my loved ones. As a child, and growing into the woman I am today, I have always thought that I had to give in order to not be selfish. But in giving I actually lost sight of why I gave. And in turn, did not serve myself or my purpose and goals. In realizing this, I realize that just because the word selfish has such a negative connotation doesn’t mean one should martyr oneself for the heck of it. Give all of your acts a purpose. If it’s for the greater good, it is still a service to yourself on many levels, one namely, spiritually. That purpose is a driving point.
As I stated before, when you think about your real goals, they encompass happiness and being mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually healthy. You can only achieve that if you are not “selfish” once in a while and be sure you are able of the task at hand. If not, you are not “devoted” or “caring” to yourself. And you must develop compassion not only for others, but for yourself and realize that in order to serve yourself, we must serve others. Not to sound hoaxy or new-age, but it’s all connected.
I believe everything is about building and rebuilding–it’s a cycle and a learning process. We have to replenish our being on a daily basis by being active in giving to self. This is the only way to be better. That is what heightens our sense of self-respect, self-worth and self-sufficiency. All else are added blessings.
Remember, giving is GREAT, but do not neglect yourself while serving others. To neglect yourself would actually be a disservice to others, because you are not at your best. We have to get out of the mindset that if we serve ourselves we cannot serve others, that we do not serve others. Even in volunteering or donating we are serving ourselves by feeding our emotional and spiritual self.
I guess I’m directing this post to those who forget about themselves. They think of what another person’s needs before their own. I advocate this way of thinking. But at some point, one must think of oneself. Remember your purpose.
LiberTeeLove 