A quick online look-up of the word “compromise” states:
- to bind by bargain or agreement.
- to bring to terms.
- a settlement of differences by mutual concessions; an agreement reached by adjustment of conflicting or opposing claims, principles, etc., by reciprocal modification of demands.
- something intermediate between different things
When I was younger I thought that a compromise was when two people “met in the middle” and there was a clear 50/50 draw in a situation. But I’ve come to realize that isn’t always the case. In every relationship there is compromise, but in any given situation throughout the relationship one person may give more than the other.
My mother said “the woman is always the one to give and sacrifice more in any relationship.” Of course, this is difficult for me to accept. Though my mother and I are extremely close, we don’t always agree. I had to get second and third opinions, male and female. Unfortunately, the second and third agreed with mom. Apparently, we women have to compromise for the sake of our man’s ego, as it’s natural for the man to be the alpha in the relationship, aka the head of the house. But when is it too much? I love to give and nurture, but I never want to feel like I’m the only one tending to the garden. How much do you give before you feel as though instead, you’re compromising yourself within the relationship?
I have yet to accept that I will have to give and compromise more than my partner because of the “nature of things.” I will keep hope alive, because I never want to feel as though everything is a sacrifice “in the name of love.” Granted, the give and take are all about the perception of each person. Each person weighs their own contribution and what they get from the relationship differently. A relationship might work because one person thrives by giving while their partner accepts willingly (not everyone is comfortable with always accepting).
Compromise is about finding that balance between two people who make a relationship work. My vision of a relationship is one where I feel as though I’m getting as much as I’m giving. I may even go far enough to say, my vision of a relationship is one where I never feel as though I can give enough because of all that I gain from it on any given level.
The real questions is: How much can/will you give to make it work?
On that note…enjoy Teddy P. What can I say, I’m a romantic. 🙂
LiberTeeLove 