Body over mind

As I sit hunched over my laptop, I feel the skin of my stomach being indented by the elastic of my too-short shorts. My breasts form little creases with the top of my torso and all I can think is how much I don’t want to focus on my body. My body doesn’t feel as it used to when I worked out. And I am not only talking about the lost firmness, but I had more energy and more strength. I could walk for long distances without feeling as though someone was pulling on my hamstring. I didn’t need to bend over and contort my back while standing on a packed train for too long. I tug at my overgrown sleeping shirt so that it stretches over my knees as I sit Indian style on my bed. Typing away, my lower back begins to get weary and with one hand on the other wrist, I raise my hands over my head and stretch up and then to the left and right. I think to myself, that maybe if I laid on my stomach this pressure on my lower back would cease, but I am wrong. As soon as I turn onto my stomach, I feel the weight of my body take a toll on my elbows, my spine feeling like that of a compressed cobra. After about 5 minutes of my backbone sandwich, I roll the upper half of my body so that I can sit on my feet. I reach over to the economy size lotion bottle from the nightstand. I rub the cold cream on my calves to soften the little prickles of hair on my legs that get caught in the fleece fabric of the covers. I close my laptop and lay on my back, legs straight out, hands on my sides. My body imprints the ashy blue sheets. I close my eyes and the bright sun shines through the windows onto my eyelids. There is too much to write about.