Mourning Reflection

I miss you. But I can’t tell you. I know that I can’t keep you. Though I love
you. Thinking of someone else loving you. Thinking of you loving someone else. My blue donkey is soaked with tears of my thinking.

There’s surely someone else who can handle you. There’s surely someone else who won’t get broken by things you say. There’s surely someone who will handle me with care. There’s surely someone who will realize that I am easily broken by things said.

I don’t know why I cry. Though I know I love you. Though I know you love me. Things weren’t as good as we figured they’d be, because we loved.

So I lay here thinking of how bad things were. So I lay here thinking you’re not thinking of me. So I lay here thinking of us apart. And I lay here wishing you were next to me, though I know it wouldn’t help.

Good times seemed few. Overshadowed by harsh words and thin skin. But I recall the night of moonlight and sparse stars. A night of burned spaghetti and burning candles. Nights in your arms.

But now I’m at the point of mourning where I wonder if I’d ever find someone. Because right now I want no one. Though I miss you.

I can’t believe I’m at a point where I want nothing. Recuperating from. Reflecting on. Mourning. You.